Caz12

The cheek of it! I left my axbf 5 weeks ago and it's been painful, I've been a complete mess. I woke up today and felt good and positive for the first time in ages. He's been sober for 4 weeks. I know it's early days but I'm pleased for him and genuinely hope this is it for him. Don't worry I'm not going back to him that's not what this is about.
So I just got a text from him, He wants to meet up for coffee so we can talk because he has something to say to me. I asked him what because there is no way I'm meeting him. He wants to tell me something because HE wants closure! I just can't believe the cheek of it, He'll want to apoligise and then his mind is clear from everything.
I was having a good day and now he's upset me.

MyBetterWorld

I know it's hard, but one thing that really helps is to never ever let the actions of the A determine YOUR mood or happiness. Have you considered not taking his calls or texts? Blocking his number and email?
It's good that he is sober, but 4 weeks is just a blip on the radar. I told my XA that I would love to hear when he has a year of sobriety. That's something to be proud of.

Caz12

I've not really had any contact with him since I left he has been good in that respect. It was speaking to his mum that I knew he was sober. I know that 4 weeks is very early on in his recovery. I'm not planning on going back to him i'm planning on going travelling for a year which that in itself is a good enough reason for us not to be together.
I'm just so annoyed that after all the hurt he has caused me he wants closure! I think I just needed a rant.

PurpleWilder

Somebody on these boards once wrote that our alkies/addicts seem to have a knack for knowing right when we are starting to get it together - that's when they call. They want advice, closure, help, affection.....something. Maybe this is one of those things?

I think you should just ignore him and go no contact. I am willing to bet he doesn't really want closure - he just wants the ego boost of making sure you are still torn up about him.

painterman

I agree with PurpleSquirrel, I think this is more about winding you up than wanting closure, in any case tell him he's got it-no problem.