Marytherboo

I brought the last of the separation papers to AH to sign today, and it's done. The rest can be handled without him, and is in the hands of my attorney and the courts. I am feeling an enormous sense of loss, and of failure, but I know there's nothing left for me to do but move forward. While I won't get those 8 years of my life back, they weren't all bad, and I'm grateful for all the lessons I've learned. I'm feeling lots of relief too, and hope, and renewed commitment to building a new life that's better and happier than the old one.

Starting off by taking two days off in a row (normally I work 7 days a week) and getting a salon haircut and a pedicure, and am going next month to a college alumni event that I've had to miss for years because of AH's shenanigans. Cutting back on my second job to take at least one weekend off a month, hoping to make it two if the stars align. Even scheming on starting to fix up my little house right...

And re-reading "Codependent No More," whose style still irks me a bit, but is blowing me out of the water with its ideas.

No way I could have made it through the last month without you folks. I recommend this site to everyone I know who struggles with alcoholism in their loved one(s). I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

dollydo

That's it pamper yourself!

fourmaggie

^^^so agree

EnglishGarden

I'm hoping your world opens up more and more, Mary. When the addict becomes our world, we forget all the rest. There is so much beauty out there.

I hope your AH will one day accept the opportunity that is available to him, every day, for his own healing, with others who are just like him and who know the way. Every day, in recovery rooms, they are right there for him.

Now it is time for you to find Mary again.

naive

that's the way, mary. love the idea that you took two days off for some pampering...you deserve it!

when i first left, i began to fill the time i used up with caring for him with caring for myself. highly recommend a juicer and juicing raw fruits and vegetables...made me feel good to be good to myself and the juices helped with maintaining emotional stability because they provided energy rather than heavy, comfort foods.

sipping strawberry, orange juice right now, actually.

naive

Noodler

Hi Mary,

Oh Mary im so pleased for you and your courage to change.

I can also see how this is helping your AH eventhough it looks the opposite to outsiders.
This is what im beginning to appreciate, the enlightenment of our plight and soaking up the education, understanding and books! from this wonderful site.

Its been a baptism of fire for me this last 2 months on here (as Im sure for you) but you have done what you ve had to do and hopefully im making those steps right behind you.

Its wonderful and frightening to be enlightened but oh so relieving after those DEAD years.

Thats the way to go with the pampering, d you know I ve NEVER done any of that girly pampering stuff! Never had time for myself, to busy addictively helping and enabling everyone else, so its going on my list and so is the juicer Naive.

xxx

Tuffgirl

Mary - welcome to your next chapter. I changed my hairstyle and bought some new clothes to celebrate when I made the decision and followed through on it.

Now over a year later - I am still happy with my decision and know it was the right thing to do.

Have fun with it!