choublak

A spin-off of this earlier thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-messages.html

Do they just think that the A drinks too much for "my" (or your) personal taste?

Justfor1

Some people still only think the alcoholic is the stereotype. You know the homeless, dirty guy who drinks out of a paper bag. Of course, most here know that not to be the case.

velma929

A stunning number of people still think, "If s/he only drinks beer, s/he's not an alcoholic."

Most of the folks in my social circle were surprised at a man who entered the hospital with an ulcer was moved to the detox ward. "He only drank beer!" Umm,yeah. But if your stomach hurts, most normal people wouldn't be dumb enough to take *aspirin* for that, and wash down the aspirin with a six- or twelve-pack of beer. Every. Stinkin'. Night.

choublak

What kind of person responds with, "you should drink more too, you'll notice it less"?

north

I have a few friends conditioned by the military's 'personal responsibility' line; that is, there is 'no such thing as alcoholism' ... any trouble you get into from over-drinking is due to your own failure to properly exercise personal responsibility and discipline.

Another friend takes it one step further, and sees any friend of his choosing not to drink as a personal affront to him - of course, to most other people, he himself has a drinking problem and has a number of 'issues' including declarations of admiration over workplace mass murderers along with his own death threats. A wonderful individual Currently he is on the wagon (a sign of great discomfort as it's a sign of 'inferiority' to him) due to doctor's orders and health problems.

Milly39

Where I come from drinking is a culture - thats just the way it is.
No one seems to mind watching people falling down drunk all the time....but it is SO taboo for anyone to go into rehab or a treatment cenre - what a load of BS!!!

tjp613

Back in the day when I was a normie, I used to think that you're only an alcoholic if you have to have a drink first thing in the morning to stop the DT's.

BuffaloGal

I didn't grow up with alcoholism in my immediate family, and when my now-aexh described himself to me as a "borderline alcholic" (a creature not unlike a unicorn-- now I don't believe there's any such thing, just slowly progressing alcoholics) I was extremely uneasy, but I didn't have the kind of clear picture in my head that I do now. It was kind of like hearing that the bogeyman lived in his closet. I didn't know what to expect, only that it would be bad, whatever it was.

ichabod

When my RAH quit drinking and told family and friends, almost to a person we heard, "what? I'm shocked. You don't drink that much!"

He held his liquor well and was never the stumble around type (except at home). He never missed work or any social functions. He also drank between 6-18 drinks per day, every day, for 35 years.

People who aren't familiar with alcoholics do think that if you aren't the stereotypical drunk you don't have a problem.

BethS

A lot of people don't understand it - even professionals. I find this so sad. We will never hget rid of the stigma until people are educated to realise that it is not a choice. Oh seriously don't get me started on this one...

lizatola

This is how I thought of it, too. I never realized my dad was an alcoholic until I was in college and he was verbally abusive to me. My mom told me when I was 19 that she was divorcing him because he wouldn't quit drinking and I never realized what a problem it was until I became his target. He never thought of himself as an alcoholic but he passed out and fell off his bar stool more times than I can count.

choublak

Realize that what is not a choice?

celticgenes

Ah, yes, where your DUI's are badges of honor

oops, in response to "drinking being a culture"

choublak

Wait what? The military really believes that?

wicked

I was in the US Army for 9 years, my father (alcoholic) 22 years.
Never heard that alcoholism is a "personal responsibility" line problem.
If you are ill, (alcoholic, diabetic, cancer) you will be treated.
The problem with alcohol is if you choose to continue to drink after being treated or fail treatment, you will be discharged from the military, dishonorably if you commit an alcohol related offense.
Honestly, never heard of this, unless it is a "joke" about the language used in the military.
In other words you are not an alcoholic unless you get caught.

Beth

mayalewiston

This all sounds so familiar to me. Just this week, I was having a conversation with AH's mother (who I think is also an A) and she just kept saying "but AH was never an alcoholic when he was here (he left home at 18 - he is now 33 btw) - he just "went out all of the time socially drinking with his friends." I know AH's family thinks I am over-reacting... But I guess that is what happens when AH's mother drinks an entire bottle of wine every night. Unless someone is in the scene from Leaving Las Vegas, clearly there is no problem.

lillyknitting

This is where I get confused. There are millions of people to spend their entire recreational time in the pub drinking, are they alcoholic, the men that spends hundreds of pounds a week on booze, even though their family could do with the money, are they alcoholic. The lady that goes out and every time she drinks gets drunk, is she an alcoholic, the person that HAS to have a drink - just the one glass mind - after work every night, are they alcoholic. The person that goes out every fri nite and gets drunk, are they alcoholic. If so, then there are millions of alcoholics up and down the country and whether or not they want to do something about it is another thing. Some people spend half their week getting sizzled then the other halt getting over it, are they alcoholic???? Let's face it you will only have to wait till say, Easter bank holiday and watch the adverts on tv to find out what the bulk of the British public is expected, and hoped, to do over the holidays to find out the state we are in!!!

wicked

I was just thinking of an old Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine
"you know you're a redneck when.....Your washing machine is on the front porch...

you know you're an alcoholic when....you lie about how much you drink
" " it becomes okay to leave your babies home alone because you need more booze.
" " You promise to quit, and you mean it, but you can't.
" " you get sick when you don't have enough alcohol.

There must be more of these, but lying about the alcohol, I think is the biggest and most obvious one.

Beth

tjp613

I think that a good definition is this: If you find you are UNABLE to abstain from drinking, even when you desire to do so, then you are an alcoholic.

tjp613

BethS -- this isn't a "debate" about whether or not it's a choice, or whether or not it's a disease.... it's a discussion about what we *thought* alcoholism was before we lived with it. There are many variations. No accusations. No condemnation here. Just a discussion about *our* perspective.

We wish everyone well in their recovery efforts! ((Hugs))