Ready to give up...
 

My best friend is 28 and has been drinking alcohol since he was 10. There have been two deaths in the family due to alcohol induced cirrohsis(sp?). His father-in-law has been in and out or rehab with no success. His mother, who lives with him, is a heavy drinker. His other sister has been through a rehab program and has been sober for 11 months.

Two years ago he was caught at work with alcohol on his breath and suspended for a week. He went to two AA meetings and was scared by some of the things he heard and gave up. Then, early in November this year, he was caught with alcohol at work. They gave him a two month medical leave of absence. The result is a change in what he drinks and now he hides his drinking. The other night, his wife called me twice because he wasn't there and had been gone since 7:30 according to his mother. She called me again at 7:00AM to say he got home. He was drunk and had called a friend (who is an addict and an alcoholic) he hadn't spoken to in two years and went to his house.

I began going to Al-Anon meetings when he was suspended. I have always understood that he has to make the decision to help himself. Al-Anon has reinforced that and so has his sister. His father is ready and willing to send him to a rehab program. I love him like a brother and don't want to give up on him. But...

cmac, welcome to SR! My name is lee, and I am an alcoholic , I live in OZ!

I do not have any first hand experience of situations like yours, but I would say that he is very lucky to have you as a friend. BUT, and it is a big one, he really does need to make the decision for himself. It has taken me 37 years , to make my decision to quit, despite the urgings of my family.

In my opinion, from what i have read here , it would probably be a good idea for you to attend the Alanon meetings, so that you can use the tools you learn there to help him WHEN he does decide, but there are much wiser people than I here , regarding your situation, and I am sure they will be along soon to help you :)

In the meantime, have a read around , and keep posting !
Nice to meet you

HUGX
Lee

You don't have to
 

"give up" on him. Pray for him, send positive, healing thoughts his way. Hope that he will see the light and begin a recovery plan in earnest. In that way, you don't give up on him.
It's very hard to stand by and watch someone self-destruct. I think the only way we can hang in with these people is to turn them over to God as we understand him.
Welcome to the forum cmac. You will find a lot of experience, strength and hope here.
Peace,
Gabe