learning to drop it.........
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Ah. Love the title.
This was and still can be so challenging for me, but when I'm in control of my anxiety level, keeping quiet is easier. Letting go is easier.
Also, when I begin to reap the benefits of letting go, of 'dropping it," as you say, it becomes easier to do.
Hope this is what you're talking about? Hugs.
This was and still can be so challenging for me, but when I'm in control of my anxiety level, keeping quiet is easier. Letting go is easier.
Also, when I begin to reap the benefits of letting go, of 'dropping it," as you say, it becomes easier to do.
Hope this is what you're talking about? Hugs.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Your post is a little vague but considering where you are posting I am will to bet it has something to do with changing the alcoholic.
And you are right, it is a game that you are playing with your self. You can no more change him than you can change the weather.
For me step 1 was giving up the illusion of control. I had to realize the only thing I could control were my choices and attitudes. To get to that point I used a technique called mindfulness. I paid attention to what I was thinking and when I started to think about things like her drinking, or her behavior, or how I had been wronged, or arguing with her in my head I would stop and take a deep breath and ask "how does this help my recovery?". At first it was hard but to be honest I am at a point now where most of the time it is on automatic pilot.
That was the start of me regaining my serenity. Of course each person is different and your mileage may vary, but that worked very well for me.
Your friend,
And you are right, it is a game that you are playing with your self. You can no more change him than you can change the weather.
For me step 1 was giving up the illusion of control. I had to realize the only thing I could control were my choices and attitudes. To get to that point I used a technique called mindfulness. I paid attention to what I was thinking and when I started to think about things like her drinking, or her behavior, or how I had been wronged, or arguing with her in my head I would stop and take a deep breath and ask "how does this help my recovery?". At first it was hard but to be honest I am at a point now where most of the time it is on automatic pilot.
That was the start of me regaining my serenity. Of course each person is different and your mileage may vary, but that worked very well for me.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Yellow Springs, OH
Posts: 109
Just chiming in to say that mindfulness is a big part of my toolkit too. Trying to observe what's going on inside *myself* with compassion and without judgment has helped me through some big cravings to interfere with what isn't mine.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 267
For me, part of it was learning to accept discomfort. I felt like I couldn't stand it when he drank, couldn't stand it if he was upset about something, couldn't stand it if he didn't come home...so I had to chase and cajole and do whatever I could to prevent these things. Nothing worked though. I found out that, I might not like the way it felt at first, but I COULD stand it...not only that, but I eventually felt calmer and then was less likely to react the next time.
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