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Old 02-26-2012, 11:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question

Deal with it or let it be?


Lately I have been really good at not letting my boyfriends (my qualifier) happiness affect mine. I went to an al-anon meeting after a period of not going and it really felt great.

But now I have all his ex-friends burdening me and threatening because of his past. He just got out of his second recovery center since being arrested about a month ago and being released due to lack of evidence. He is most likely going to serve time in jail and thats a stress on it's own to me.

He is very serious about his recovery now which makes me thoroughly happy but now I have all of his friends facebooking me, texting me, calling me asking this and that of when he's going to be home, or telling me to let him know they will do so and so if he doesn't do this. I just don't know what to do at this point....

I honestly just want to tell everyone to eff off and deal with it on their own terms. But it doesn't seem like that would make matters any better either. All his friends are messaging me saying they will testify against him when they were all involved in the criminal activity with him.

my question is ultimately has anyone else dealt with a similar situation and if so is it wrong for me to just tell them that it's not my responsibility to be a middle man for them since they cant get ahold of him.... :/
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hello kay, glad you are here, there is only one key word here, in real estate it is location location location, in your situation it is detach deatch detach. Block these people, step back and remember that you can only fix you.

Best of luck,

Bill
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I had a few "friends" asking about my ex when we seperated.

I had a canned answer: "I don't know how he is doing. Ask him yourself"

It's been three years since we seperated/divorced. I still can not answer other peoples questions about his lifestyle.

I recommend not taking the calls from these friends. I also would not reply to the text messages.

You own the phone. You decide who you will speak with and when.

Remember the three C's:

I did not Cause it
I cannot Control it
I will not Cure it

also, the Serenity Prayer helps calm me

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change (other people)
The Courage to change the things I can (me, myself and I)
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
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"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

Trina Paulus
Hope for the Flowers
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I've decided to block people who constantly are badgering me with questions and threats for my boyfriends faults. Why should I have to deal with his mess that he created for himself after all.
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Good for you, keep up the good work!
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ex-friends , happiness , jail , stress


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