Marytherboo

Some of you know AH was discharged last week from rehab after only 12 days and with less than 24 hours notice. Although his counselor's reports were glowing, I knew better but was still unable to leave him there with no phone, no ID and no discharge plan. So I told him up front: the first time I see you drunk, you're gone and I'm filing for legal separation. So last night he drank (can you say 48 hours sobriety?) and now he's gone. First to the ER for the hallucinations and then wherever. Tomorrow (when I can get a notary), I file the separation papers.

Somehow I crossed a magic line during that 48 hours. Suddenly I realized I had hit my limit and was going no further down that road. My heart hurts, but mostly I feel this enormous sense of relief--I did everything I could, and I can finally look myself in the mirror without guilt and say "no more."

Many of you saw it coming (and I did too, make no mistake), but I couldn't take that step until today. Thank you especially to those who were gentle with me during the hardest part. And extra-especially to those who put the truth out there closer to me so I could grasp it a little sooner.

inpieces314

Congratulations, you have hit your rock bottom!

Some may think this is not a thing to be happy about, but it's a cause for celebration.

For now it is time for you to recover from your own demons, and learn to love life again.

Marytherboo

I actually feel a little like celebrating, and I thought that was just weird! But I know this is just the beginning as I start living the life I never dared to have, so I'm a little scared as well...

wanttobehealthy

Your post title is perfect... It is heartache to realize that the life we hoped to have isn't going to happen but the relief of getting to the point of realizing it's done and knowing we won't have to live with the insanity anymore is liberating huh?

Congratulations feels weird to say but I am glad for you that you are heading in a direction that is better for you.

xo

inpieces314

It's weird, but you feel kind of...free, even though you know that the long road is surely far from over and all kinds of stuff will come up to bring you down. It's the end of one page, but the beginning of another, and surely not the end of the story.

Man, I sound like a fortune cookie today.

blwninthewind

I know your scared. That is where our strength in numbers comes in.

Every time someone tells me I can do this..I believe it alittle bit more...so...

You can do this! Your a strong, smart woman who deserves better!

LifesALongSong

Sorry and Congrats !

The tough decision you made is not a easy one for nobody ! On the other hand its a liberating feeling is'nt it ? It took me 2 years of sadness/tears/frustration to decide, 2 weeks ago I decided, ain't lookin back thats for sure !

Stay Strong !

flower43

Congrats on dodging a huge bullet and opening a new door in your life! Hang in there things will get better for you.