LaTeeDa

You know, I was thinking about this just yesterday. Whether you agree or disagree with President Obama's politics, I think that one positive thing that has come out of his presidency is the example he and Michelle have shown us all as a partnership. You can just 'see' the mutual respect and admiration they have for each other whenever one of them looks at the other.

L

feelingalone43

LaTeeDa-

The statement about not doing anything permanently stupid because you are temporarily upset was not intended to offend anyone. It is a general thought about life, not just whether or not to stay in a relationship. In retrospect, I should not have posted it within that particular post. My apologies to anyone who took offense.

It just makes me think about people who do things like punch a dent in their car door because someone cut them off earlier that day. Now they have a permanent dent because they were mad about something they would have gotten over if they had given themselves a while to calm down.

Again, I put that "thought for the day" in with the wrong conversation that was going on at the time on here. I will be more careful in the future and "think before I post"

blwninthewind

fear

nicam

It's great that you are motivated by this sense of guilt, and even better that you DID manage to get out when you did.

I think there's a lot of victim-blaming in these relationships. Not to place you in the role of the victim, but you did not provoke your XAH's abuse. We are told to look at OUR roles in these relationships and take responsiblity for our half, but a lot of days I just think that's a load of hooey.

You were abused, so were your children. This is your husband, their FATHER. Of course you are going to try and keep your family together, and think the children would be better off with their father, etc. You did what ANY normal human being in your situation would have done. I can't believe that any woman in your shoes would have come to a timely conclusion to completely abandon the marriage and family unit.

Like someone else said, "let yourself off the hook." You did the right thing once you realized what the right thing was. It takes time to come to that realization, especially when there is so much at stake and so much confusion caused by the A's psychological tactics. This is a much bigger decision than most, and naturally takes more time to make than most.

Congrats on your new beginning! Your children are blessed to have YOU.