TropicalWinter

So. I've been reading quite a bit here, and I am so glad I found this site!

Anyway, one thing that's been bothering me is that I find myself thinking about my AH and his dysfunctional enmeshed family more often than I'd like.

When I say enmeshed, I mean ENMESHED. Like, crazy enmeshed. I am working on detaching, but I still need to play the game to an extent for my own ends - they're helping us financially while I go back to school.

I recently decided that I need to stop hashing out stuff with my SIL (AH's sister) because all it does is make me anxious and sad. Once I set that boundary, I felt better.

Anyway, like I said, I find myself thinking about the situation more often than I'd like. It's taking up too much room in my mental real estate. It's not like obsession, but still.

I know it's a process, and in some ways things are still kind of raw, but it's something that I want to work on. What has helped you guys?

Mountainmanbob

Seems that we are commanded to love everyone.
Does this mean that I also have to like them ?
It seems not for me -- and this has been working for a while now.

Many times I have to ask of the One above
to help me with the dealings of these resentments towards others.
By myself -- I don't seem to have it in me ?

M-Bob

Dimndaruf

This site!! lol

And educating myself!!

ladyscribbler

Mindfulness. Focusing on the present moment.
I know that "hashing things out" with people connected to my ex felt satisfying in the moment, but it never actually resolved anything, and it usually just left me brooding over things I couldn't change or control.

TropicalWinter

Mindfulness and "staying in the now" are definitely things that I find difficult sometimes. I need to figure out a way to improve my skillz in that area.

I agree with your statement about hashing things out - you put that into words that I hadn't articulated before, but it makes total sense. Thank you!