LuvEm

A came home from work yesterday in a grumpy mood once again. I had spent most of the day running errands, paying bills, and trying to finish up the Christmas shopping. He won't go shopping of any kind unless he's drunk or well on his way to being drunk. I won't go anywhere with him if he's been / or is drinking because he acts like an a@@ ( loud, obnoxius, and angry at the world ). Anyways, first thing he did was make a comment " What did you do today beside sit on your fat a@@ and play on the computer ? "I started to feel angry at him, even started to justify myself at what I had done all day..... then WHAM.... I stopped talking in mid sentence and said to him " I don't have to justify what I did today. " Well that pissed him off big time, and the comments started flying..... " You obviously didn't do any housework " , " Why are you such a b*tch all the time ? " " What kind of slop are you throwing together for dinner tonight ? " etc. etc. By this time I was ready to blow.... but again... wham.... something in my head told me not to respond to his childishness. He kept going with stupid comments because 6 mos. ago he knew I would argue with him and try to justify my every move. NOT ANY MORE !!!! flashed in neon colors in my head... it actually made me smile..... he just looked at me like I had six heads. LOL
I made dinner at the usual time 5:30 and got the same comment I always get " I'm not ready to eat yet " of course he's not ready to eat,the beer isn't gone yet. I calmly said I was eating while it was hot, and did so. Then afterwards I put his dinner on a plate and left it on the table, and did the dishes. Two hours later he decided to eat...... it's cold, I'm not eating this sh*t he kept saying ( I was in the bedroom reading my Codie No More book ). He comes in and says my dinner is cold..... so told him he knew where the microwave was, and continued reading. I must have fallen asleep with the book in my hands because he came in to go to bed and woke me up to tell me to put the book away so he could turn out the light.

smoke gets in my eyes

TRIUMPH!!!!!! You're a prodigy! Picture me in my "mighty woman" flexed muscles pose. You deserve to smile. He deserves cold dinner. Things are working out great!

Big Proud Hugs!
Smoke

Ann

And picture me right next to Smoke, doing my best "YES!!!" cheer.

It's amazing how we empower ourselves simply by not participating in their chaos. Nothing changed for him, but the outcome for you is a victory worth celebrating.

Huge Victory Hugs
Ann

Gabe

They just hate it when you won't play anymore. I am more than proud that you refused to play his games, had a nice dinner and went off to read your book.
Isn't it nice to live your life the way you want to, instead of at the mercy of their crappy behavior?
Pass the tiara, I'm crowning Em Queen for the Day!
Peace,
Gabe

JT

..and this is only the FIRST time! Keep up the good work!!

Hugs,
JT

LovingMom

The first time I took my sail out of SonnyBoy's wind. You have need to be proud of yourself. I know the jittery kind of feeling you felt in your tummy when you told him to warm his own dinner..."Is he gonna lob it at me?" "Will the diatribe continue?"...My girl...you are to be admired for standing up for you. Congrats and this is a bubble bath moment.

osier59

CONGRATS to you Em!

I am happy for you that you were able to step back and do the things you needed to do to take care of yourself. It took awhile at my house for me to be able to do it.... I remember once he actually followed me into another room and said "you arent doing this right! I say THIS and then you say THAT and then I do this and you do THAT...." the pattern was so predictable that he was telling me the script as I had obviously forgotten my lines!

Hugs. Keep taking care of you!

Barb