JustAverage

Tragic news. I need to know how to deal with it My friend who got out of detox is drinking again. How much I do not know. And she/he's lying about it. What would Alanon tell me to do?

MyGirlGracie

Al-anon would tell you the three C's (I think):

You didn't cause your friend to drink
You can't control your friend's drinking and
You cannot cure your friend of the alcoholism

Your friend has to WANT to recover and work to make that happen....

Sending you strength and a big hug... I know how hard this is on you.

m1k3

I agree with Gracie. His recovery is his. They will get better only when they are ready to get better and nothing you can say or do will make a difference.

What you can do is look at yourself and this relationship. Is it having an impact on you or effecting you in any way other than just being concerned for a friend? If so you may want to consider going to Al-Anon yourself.

Your friend,

Cyranoak

In other words, don't do anything. It's not yours, it's your friend's. People "doing something" was probably a big part of how they got there to begin with.

It's time for them to do it themselves. It may not sound loving, but the most loving thing you can do is nothing.

Take care,

Cyranoak

naive

it's their life. they can drink if they want. hands off their recovery.