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ABrother won't communicate, but there's legalities at play...

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ABrother won't communicate, but there's legalities at play...

Old 02-06-2012, 04:28 PM
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Unhappy ABrother won't communicate, but there's legalities at play...

Okay, how to bring you up to speed without being too wordy...

My mom died 20 months ago.

My AB went off the deep end emotionally and alcoholically, but mom left all three surviving children as co-executors. Legally, we all must agree on stuff, but AB has made death threats and not lived up to his part of the needed actions to settle the estate.

Normally, I would write off the threats except that he really has gone off the deep end and also has a super-enabler that has already beat up the brother's ex-girlfriend enough to put her through at least four surgeries. He came at me a few weeks ago (totally at random, I was leaving a big box store and saw my brother walking in, once his personal pit bull realized who I was, he came after me in the parking lot) and I managed to walk away unscathed, but this guy is scary.

I don't even know what to ask about what I need to know. My other brother has been the main executor because I suck at management and am the baby, etc. My AB and I were exceedingly close until all this went down. Now I'm somehow the super-enemy in his mind. In my mind, he's overly paranoid, drinking himself to death and has admitted to having hallucinations. All my news of him, aside from our brush in the parking lot, is second, third or fourth hand. Detaching has been a bitch for me but I'm managing it best I can.

So, I don't know, what do you do when there's all this legal stuff at bay? I would love to see him in jail, if only because it would force him to at least sober up for a day and maybe I could get him into rehab, to at least see him without fearing for my own security. He won't communicate with the other brother either.

Whatever. Any advice is helpful.
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Old 02-06-2012, 04:43 PM
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Talk to a lawyer. In certain situations, a judge can overrule things... but I don't know if it would be possible in this case.

I ran into it when AXH was refusing to sign papers to let me get passports for our kids (just out of spite because I was planning a trip to Mexico with them). I found out that I could request that a judge grant me the right to go ahead without AXH's signature.
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:14 PM
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3 executors, what a mess, my parents have a six month clause that if it is not settled it rolls to one person to finalize the paperwork.

Please keep a phone handy so you can call 911 and videotape this guy if he comes after you, would the ex-girlfriend not press charges against this maniac.

Personally if it was me I would have pepper-spray, stun gun, and a pistol.
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:21 PM
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The girlfriend did press charges, but they arrested the wrong guy (same name) and for some reason that was not discovered until the night before trial. I'm assuming she was so mad at my AB (and ended up getting a default judgement against him, because he doesn't open his mail so I suppose he didn't know to go to court) that she never went to give an ID from a line up (well, she was pretty beaten up, broken nose and other facial bones, crushed ankle), but I would have at least looked at a photo array and said "that's not him". She knew him personally.

My husband used to work for the sheriff's department and has a gun. We lock our doors now because the AB did enter once while we were asleep and left, just moving stuff around. It was spooky. It breaks my heart. I don't know how I became such a pariah.

So, would having him evaluated for mental competency, in the hopes that it either gets him into rehab and/or he loses his power as a co-executor, how would that work?
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Old 02-06-2012, 07:23 PM
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My undersatnding is that something has to happen, arrest, threat of suicide, hospitalization for alcohol poisoning etc. is there a lawyer involved with the will? Maybe you could buy one hour of time with an attorney, or go see the prosecutor.

Big thing, document everything dates times, statements, actions, I mean everything, go to the $ store and get those marbled composition books with the sewn in pages and never tear out a page, you want them to know you kept meticulous records and that you did not fudge anything, periodically make copies of the pages and place them in a safe deposit box.

Brother and other guy both sound spooky to me.

Take care,

Bill
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