What to say to my children?
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 16
Thanks again for these other posts - you're right Thumper, the conversation won't last for ever. And really helpful guidance about keeping communications short and focussed on what needs to happen with the children.
I'm probably deluding myself in thinking that i might be able to justify/reason with him as to why i have to do what i have to do, aren't I - if all the pleading and letters that i used to send never worked, i've got to remind myself that whatever i say on Thursday and afterwards is probably also going to fall on deaf ears again or he'll try to distort what i say etc etc. Note to self: don't rant. Note to self: prepare for his quacking. Note to self: breathe.
I'm probably deluding myself in thinking that i might be able to justify/reason with him as to why i have to do what i have to do, aren't I - if all the pleading and letters that i used to send never worked, i've got to remind myself that whatever i say on Thursday and afterwards is probably also going to fall on deaf ears again or he'll try to distort what i say etc etc. Note to self: don't rant. Note to self: prepare for his quacking. Note to self: breathe.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 598
I separated from Ah #1 when my boys were the same age. I can say without question raising these guys myself - they are now 23 and 19 has been the best gift I could have ever had. I am not saying it was easy and I married AH#2 5 years ago - whole nother story- but my boys and I are so close and we are there for each other. They have a small relationship with their Dad - he didn't really want to be in their life much - his choice. Stay strong for those boys - know that you are giving them a wonderful opportunity to be raised in a happy home with laughter and joy and hope. We used to have Friday night dance parties - the 3 of us and it still makes me smile. You are blessed and you will make it!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 235
I am almost in the same boat, just about 3 months further than you. The biggest thing I learned in nothing goes as planned so don't waste your time. I had a schedule, money worked out, and wrote down kids events for him. I was not able to give him any of it and talking to him went no where. The best thing he did was get an attorney because he laid it all out for the STBXARH. You need to see an attorney ASAP and get papers in the court for custody and support. Otherwise, you have NO say in when he sees the kids. You both have equal rights right now. Good luck and please get an attorney!!!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Redheadsusie 
I separated from Ah #1 when my boys were the same age. I can say without question raising these guys myself - they are now 23 and 19 has been the best gift I could have ever had. I am not saying it was easy and I married AH#2 5 years ago - whole nother story- but my boys and I are so close and we are there for each other. They have a small relationship with their Dad - he didn't really want to be in their life much - his choice. Stay strong for those boys - know that you are giving them a wonderful opportunity to be raised in a happy home with laughter and joy and hope. We used to have Friday night dance parties - the 3 of us and it still makes me smile. You are blessed and you will make it!
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