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Backed to being "Pissed Off" ...

Old 01-31-2012, 07:03 PM
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Backed to being "Pissed Off" ...

Just when I thought it was gone. BOOM! It slaps me in the face again...

The house cant be re-financed. So here I am stuck with this HUGE payment
*Sigh, kick, scream, fear* Dont know what to do now!


A water pipe breaks last night, Im swimming in my own bathroom.
48 Bath towels later, and all of my girly makeup, gone
Borrowed a fan. It's running on high.
Hoping not to lose the floor
$?$?$?$


Broke a tooth off eating some damn healthy nuts
$220 later. It is fixed. I should of stuck to the chocolate
donuts...

Been having lots of break-ins in town and people getting robbed.
Got new locks/ deadbolts put on, after my door was shaken
so hard, the handle was broke

Cold outside, but had a sweater on. Got home from work, sat
down my purse & keys, took the dogs outside with me to grab
the rest of the stuff out of my vehicle. Come back in the house.
Well kind of not....The door was locked
Called for a locksmith, but took him 1.5 hours to drive 20 minutes!!
Until he arrived, the dogs & I walked around in the cold wind
Beyond cold in my sweater
$55 later, Im in..

As I waited for the guy to un-lock, I went to the back yard
I kick the log of wood so hard, I think I broke my toe
I screamed and yelled and cried..."Why did you leave me like this"
"I told you not to drink"
Im so pissed!!!
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:57 PM
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Bobby J,

You will still make it out of this.

I have seen so many times that when people feel chaotic or rageful inside, things just go to hell on the outside. Car accidents, bike accidents, broken this and broken that all of a sudden, as if your energies are so intense they actually affect the environment around you.

So, however you can unload that rage safely, I'd do that and for as long as it takes. You'll figure out some way to release that rage in a contained way so you nor anyone else is hurt.

It's still better than living with an abusive drunk any day. Right? Because at least broken plumbing doesn't make your heart hurt. Doesn't make you feel unloved and unlovable. Doesn't strip you of your self-esteem and your hope for a better life.

So, step at a time, fix the things that are broken, then release your anger on paper or walking hard or chopping wood.

Then, step at a time, make a plan to start your new life which absolutely holds the promise of peace and quiet and nurture and feeling beautiful again.

Wishing you well.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:09 PM
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Hang in there. Take care of yourself, even if that means a hot bath and a cup of tea. "This too shall pass." Sorry for your pain.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:53 PM
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It's all earthly stuff. Money, flooding, annoyances... it's all a royal pain in the patootie.
Or AFGE, as someone here said -- Another F***ing Growth Experience.

You have your freedom. That's worth a lot. The rest? It's a pain. But it will pass.

(At least that's what I tell myself when there's a lot of month left at the end of the paycheck...)

Hugs, friend.
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Old 02-01-2012, 03:16 AM
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(((BobbyJ))) I'm sorry, just sending hugs and hoping for a salvagable floor!
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Old 02-01-2012, 09:40 AM
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Hide a key outside. Expensive lesson to learn but it's a mistake you won't make twice.

You are strong.
You have come this far and you can make it the rest of the way.
It's a bad week. We all have them.
Just remember to be thankful for the things you do have....and that your A was not the cause of the chaos....because...it would have been much much worse.
serenity.
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Old 02-01-2012, 09:49 AM
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Bobby I hope you are doing better!! I have had stressful days and weeks and months like that.

But it does get much better.
Focus on the priorities: you are alive, healthy, got pets, got SR friends, and well many other good things you can add to the list. Peace, silence..
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Old 02-01-2012, 10:53 AM
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Hang in there, sweetie. I totally get your hurt, rage, betrayal, confusion, anger, sadness, grief.... These are such tough times. You will survive it. One day/one hour at a time.

Back in the 70s, when my parents were finding themselves in a new-age sense, my father needed help releasing anger. His counselor had him cut a short section of garden hose and go out and beat on our wood pile when he needed to. I have memories of Dad going out and yelling "HA!" as he beat that wood pile. He only did it a few times, but he said it helped tremendously. Can you figure out a good release? I go out in my horse pasture and throw rocks. It really does help!

We are all here for you!
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:09 AM
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Hi Bobbi, I'm not telling you what to do on the house but when given the choice to foreclose on me or let me short sell my house the bank, after bluffing on the foreclosure to see if I would blink, let me short sell the house and wrote off the balance.

Three things. It still hurt my credit to the tune of 100 points, I didn't know if it was a bluff or not, and they could have chosen to not write off the balance but come after me instead. I just had decided to accept the foreclosure because making the payment wasn't an option for me.

Consult your own advisers on this-- I'm just sharing an experience and am far from a professional in finance or real estate.

Take care,

Cyranoak
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:18 AM
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when everything starts to fall apart around me and I've had days like you just described the first thing I do is scream at the top of my lungs (windows closed and I live alone) then I go and get an ice cream cone, rent a funny movie or call a friend to cheer me up. This too shall pass.
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:44 AM
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Sometimes it feels good just to vent...wonderful that you shared BobbyJ!!!...we humans sure do the strangest things sometimes. Peace and love to you and yours

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Old 02-01-2012, 01:57 PM
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Awww...*Sigh* and EXHALE..I guess

All of it this week, has just overwhelmed to the point I cant even see straight!

Yes, your right, it is better than having a 50 year old drunk running around!

I read one of those dumb quotes things that went like:

"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how's it suppose to be"

Dang...I think I can relate to that one!
* I think thats where I got mad last night, DAMN IT..Im suppose to be happily
married and the husband is suppose to fix this stuff right?!?!!?

I wont lie, I am NOT a mechanical person at all...If it's anything besides
duct tape or a pair of scissors...It's out of my comfort zone. When my daughter
was 7 she tried to teach me how to change a bicycle tire. Still dont have it!!
Pathetic...lol

*The house deal: Found out our fire marshall doesnt have much of a sense of humor
when I asked to remove 8 boxes & my dogs, before it burned to the ground...
Actually, the lender said there is a new loan coming out in March, that might save my
butt. Until then, gonna see if I can find someone to take over payments! Cant let
it go back to the bank..or there goes my business too!

Anvilhead: Shame on you for that silly question! * between your comment and my events, think Im gonna eat the entire chocolate cake tonight, hell who knows, might
even go for 2...*Giggle Giggle* Dont worry, I wont blame if I flat line over chocolate cake!


I know this will pass..but what a great place to vent, with so many awesome people
that understand it...

LOVE YOU ALL!
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