Things are falling into place
 

I have decided to put on my big girl panties and just suck it up.

I have been reading and working my steps. I am going to Alanon regularly.

I am working on the Acceptance of what I can't change and working on setting boundaries for things I find unacceptable (with my sponser/alanon friends help as my view may still be a bit distorted by my own issues)..

and things are better.

Not in concrete ways. But I FEEL better. I am not as angry. I am feeling like forgiveness isn't something I need to rush.
I am being more patient with myself.
Trying to be more patient with RAH since half the time I have no idea if my own expectations are realistic for that situation...
and am trying to communicate what I NEED. NOT expect but NEED from him. He isn't psychic and even if it is clear to me it may not be clear to him.
I am no longer walking the aisles of the hardware store looking for bread.
:)