Compulsions
 

Recently I shared that my life is good, I am feeling joy, and things feel balanced. The other side is that I also still have these compulsions that come up sometimes with a vengeance. I have been doing some online dating, and for awhile I was getting a heady excitement from seeing several men and getting lots of attention. I even saw a couple of men several times, even though I knew that they were not a match and possibly even dangerous to my psyche. All because they met this need, this compulsion for attention. For about a month now I have not been engaging in these behaviors and I am feeling so needy.

I know I need to focus on myself, try to meet my own needs, and that attention from men is not the answer. BUT........ the compulsion grows, the one that wants to rush into a physical relationship for the rush that brings.

Last night I had a first date with an attractive, interesting, available man. Possibly there might be something there. How do I reign in this compulsion and not rush into something prematurely, just take it easy and slow and see what might happen?

How can I get to the root of this compulsion?

Counseling. And sooner than later. For a certain kind of man you are just the woman they are looking for-- and not in a good way.

Cyranoak

Yes, you are both right. I am in counseling and will discuss this at length in coming weeks, much fuel for growth. Thank you for listening, coming here helps, voicing the compulsion instead of acting out.

Good news, beginning in March there will be another Alanon meeting near my house at a good time. I see more meetings in my near future, to support me and help move me forward. The journey continues.............