GoatGirl

ABF should've had his admission telephone call today but he had a seizure yesterday evening and so got whipped into hospital. I went with and him stayed until he got admitted and was seen by the ward doctor, who was lovely.

I left just after midnight, and when I called this morning, I was told to call back in two hours as it was the handover time. When I did call back, they had no record of him! It took 5 calls to find out he was still in the ward I'd left him in.

They said he'd not had a great night and had had another fit after I left. I managed to get to see him this evening and he looked terrible, though I've seen him worse. Apparently he's not done too much damage to his liver, probably because he has been far more sober than drunk for the past 14 months but they want to keep him in a couple of days to detox him.

He said he also looked terrible because he hadn't managed to sleep. There is a Sikh chap opposite who is also in for alcohol treatment - except he seems a little less keen. Apparently he'd spent most of the day trying to get out of the ward to get alcohol. When I was there a poor nurse spent the entire visiting time chasing around after him trying to get him to shower after he'd wet himself repeatedly.

There's one more chap in there who go talking a bit before I left. He introduced himself and said he was a diabetic. My ABF said his name, hesitated and then said, I'm an alcoholic. I felt proud, though I don't know what it means or what the next steps are but I think its the first time he's admitted that to someone outside of the fellowship, or me/family.

Anyway, his therapist has suggested that he go straight from hospital to rehab, I passed on the suggest and he's considering it. If he does then I'l be living along for over 3 months - which seems like an awfully long time.

Pelican

I am glad that he is getting professional help. I hope he grabs all the help he can and works toward a better future.

Now what about you?

How can you use this time to help yourself?

GoatGirl

Pelican, thanks for the post.

I have some formative plans - like starting to run and go the gym again. I'm working towards a degree and I need to decide if I''m going ahead with this year.

I'm going to al-anon and will find more meetings now that the crazy is subsiding. I'm going to clean the flat from top to bottom, sort out my dry cleaning, have a day at a spa, read more and spend a lot of time thinking about what I want when he eventually comes home, what my boundaries will be and how I will express them.

Am sure there is a load more I want to do, but that will come in time.

naive

sounds like a good plan, goatgirl. three months to focus on yourself and your recovery.

dollydo

Three months is a mere drop in the bucket in the overall spectrum of life.

Let him make his own decisions, take this time to work on you and your codependency issues.

Focus on you!