Good novel dealing with domestic violence

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Old 01-22-2012, 12:43 PM
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Good novel dealing with domestic violence

I just finished reading this book. It is a story about a woman who marries a movie star, then finds herself being physically abused by him (he also drinks). It's an interesting look at how she lives with and justifies her situation. I thought I'd pass this along for anyone who might find it helpful.

Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult
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Old 01-22-2012, 02:05 PM
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(((SS))) - I had to read the reviews of that book, as I'm not familiar with it.

Though it seems it's a fiction, what struck me (by the reviews) is it does deal with the emotions of living with/loving an abuser. The only abuse I've ever suffered is emotional/mental at the hands of a loved one, but I do remember discounting my feelings for so long in the name of "love".

I'm grateful to SR and all the people who post here, because I've changed my views on "love". It isn't enough to discount the bad behaviors, sometimes it's more NEED than love (in my case), and it was entirely too easy for me to get sucked into dysfunctional relationships because I truly believed "it's not that bad". It was "that bad" and things I used to think were normal are now red flags for me.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:30 PM
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I read it, it is okay but ................................ having volunteered for years at our DV center it was just a work of fiction for me, with a few facts.

A real good one to read is The Burning Bed, and there is a made for TV Movie of it, starring Farrah Fawcett that is EXCELLENT. There is where the awakening comes in.

Domestic Violence is still 'swept under the carpet' when a family can. It is the 'deep, dark family secret.'

Amy, just remember that the emotional and mental can be just as bad and worse than the physical. I believe that is why you ended up with PTSD after the robbery, it brought out some of the 'old' mental and emotional abuse.

A while back I posted about what happened to a neighbor of mine. A neighbor that I had tried to help, given her the DV # and my numbers. She had my next door neighbors numbers also. I hear from the grandmother periodically, the kids are doing well in their new school and preschool. They don't ask for mommy quite so much now, but she has lots of pictures of 'mommy' around the house. Oh yes, in case y'all weren't on here at that time, her husband killed her, bashed her head in between the kitchen and the dining room and she bled out on the dining room floor.

I can report that they did catch him, he is in jail on 'no bail'. He is charged with 2nd degree murder and child endangerment (yes the kids were in the house and saw their 'mommy' lying on the floor in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. It was the oldest one that called 911 (daddy had run away).

Mental and emotional abuse can precede physical or it can follow physical abuse.

I experienced all of it in my first marriage .................................. until I snapped. He had cornered me in the kitchen, unfortunately for him it was the corner of the kitchen where the 'knife block' was with all my very sharp knives. Yes I call the police. They took him to the hospital first and then to jail. After that he NEVER tried doing any abuse to me again. Then he went and cheated. I found out. He came home to find ALL of his clothes on the front lawn and ALL of his underwear, both jockey shorts and t-shirts STARCHED stiff as a board.

The next morning I was at my attorney's office.

It wasn't until I found recovery for myself that I started volunteering at the DV center of whatever city I was living in. It is still my 'pet' project.

I apologize for 'hijacking' your thread. Back to main topic.

For those that are not necessarily familiar with Domestic Violence other than hearing about it, please read both books. You will have quite an awakening.

Love and hugs,
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:42 PM
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(((Laurie))) good point about the PTSD from the robbery stirring up old stuff. I have no doubt that people who are abused, be it physical, emotional, or mental suffer some measure of PTSD. The good news is we can get past it. SR has been a HUGE help to me, but eventually I really want to try EMDR, when I get a "real job" with benefits

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-22-2012, 05:45 PM
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Good post Laurie. I don't have any experience with domestic violence. I am sure this book is very much fiction. But for someone like me who is 'new' to it, it helped me get my head around why someone would let one incident become ten. And in some ways it helped me understand why I stayed put for so long with my AH.
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