A little guidance, please?

Old 01-19-2012, 01:04 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by theuncertainty View Post
CPS and the divorce/custody courts have two different sets of standards that they apply when dealing with children. CPS tends to step in and/or remove children from homes where there is alcohol or drug use and/or abuse, even if it's just one parent who is addicted or abusive.

Divorce/custody courts, tend to send those same children back to live with or at least visit the alcoholic/addicted/abusive parent. IF the children and mother are lucky, it will be just visits and those visits will be supervised. However, that is not always the case.
We live in an f'd-up state.
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Old 01-19-2012, 02:23 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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We sure do. And theuncertainty beat me to the explanation. Basically, unless you have evidence of a crime, the children will spend time with both parents.

Yup, some codependents have control issues. I've actually removed myself from a friendship with a fellow Al-Anon person for this reason -- because she was always telling me what to do and how to do it, and became irate and agitated if I didn't. Things like "you really should take your car to this mechanic" and "you really need to iron your shirts better, I can teach you how to do it." Oy.

I find the same thing in myself -- when I ride in a car with someone, I have to bite my tongue not to tell them which lane to get in, even if they've lived and driven here as long as I have...

How to interact with a codie? Set your boundaries and protect yourself. It's OK to say "I don't want to discuss that." It's OK to say no. It's OK to say "you do things your way, I do things my way. Would you pass the bean dip, please?" (that is -- state the fact, change the subject).
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