Programmatic

I would strongly agree that a marriage license does represent a contract with the state making the marriage a 3-way relationship.

A license is permission to do that which is otherwise illegal.

There was a specific reason marriage licenses were instituted in America and that reason is extremely close to the reason licensing was instituted for firearm ownership in a direct affront to the 2nd amendment.

The fact is neither behavior requires state permission if you do not recognize state authority to govern it.

If you have a marriage license it was entirely by your own volition. To complain about the terms of that contract after the fact appears rather foolish.

God doesn't require silly pieces of paper because his medium lies in the heart and soul of humans. Your contract with the state is largely immaterial to God, I suspect.

LaTeeDa

Ah, but that is exactly my point. How many people are aware of the full implications of this contract prior to getting married? And how many are wistfully believing that they are entering into some magical, romantic fairy tale? Our society tends to obscure the former while glorifying the latter.

L

Programmatic

My real point is a contract with the state is an outside issue with regards to a vow made to God.

A marriage can exist without the one but not without the other. Placing emphasis on the piece of paper is, in my opinion, deflecting attention from the crux of the matter.

I would go so far as to say one can dissolve their 3-way contract with the state and still maintain the integrity of the marriage vows made to God. The two are mutually exclusive and conflating them leads to unnecessary ambiguity.

LaTeeDa

I'd be interested to know how many people in the US are married "in the eyes of god" without the contract. The fact is, they are one and the same--for most people. Obscuring that by proclaiming them to be mutually exclusive only perpetuates the delusions most young people have regarding marriage.

L

sesh

For me the thought of divorce felt like a personal failure, not because I couldn't be alone and I had to be married to a man, or because I was getting my own identity from being somebody's wife, but because I've invested myself into that marriage, and it was very hard to admit it didn't work out, cut my loses and move on.
I'm sure I'd feel the same about any "project" I've put 13 years of my life in.

Of course on the rational level I know it takes two to make a marriage work, but still the feeling of personal failure weighted heavy on me.

I believe that for older generations there was some of that at play too, epecially since for those woman of older generation their family and their mariage was thier only "job", only thing they can succed or fail at. ...