Blogs


Notices

If you expect nothing, you can never be disappointed.

Old 01-13-2012, 03:33 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
choublak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,678
If you expect nothing, you can never be disappointed.

“If you expect nothing, you can never be disappointed.
Apart from a few starry-eyed poets or monks living on a mountaintop somewhere, however, we all have expectations. We not only have them, we need them. They fuel our dreams, our hopes, and our lives like some super-caffeinated energy drink.” Tonya Hurley

So, must we learn to think like a poet or a monk if we choose to live with an active alcoholic?

Something to think about.
choublak is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to choublak For This Useful Post:
catmilkyo (01-13-2012), Impurrfect (01-14-2012), TakingCharge999 (01-13-2012), Tuffgirl (01-14-2012)
Old 01-13-2012, 04:06 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I don't know. Living with an active alcoholic is no longer an option.

I've been there 3 times, with the now deceased EXAH, twice with the AD. Never again.

I cherish the absence of active alcoholism's insanity.

I cherish the peacefulness.

I cherish my safe place that I call home.
Freedom1990 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Freedom1990 For This Useful Post:
bless5 (01-13-2012), Impurrfect (01-14-2012), laurie6781 (01-13-2012), Linkmeister (01-14-2012), runningforlife (01-13-2012), TakingCharge999 (01-13-2012)
Old 01-13-2012, 04:17 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
"So you’ll give up the chance of something real so you can hold onto hope. The thing is, hope is for sissies."
(Dr. House)
lillamy is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
choublak (01-13-2012), Fandy (01-13-2012), Freedom1990 (01-13-2012), Impurrfect (01-14-2012), runningforlife (01-13-2012), TakingCharge999 (01-13-2012), Tuffgirl (01-14-2012)
Old 01-13-2012, 06:58 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
lillamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,523
I think it's also about knowing that we have a right to expect certain things more than it is about giving up our expectations.

I have a right to expect respectful treatment from a person I'm sharing my life with.
If he doesn't live up to that, it's not my expectation that's the problem; it's his behavior.
My expectation only becomes a problem if he treats me with no respect for years and I let him, and I still expect him to change.
lillamy is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to lillamy For This Useful Post:
laurie6781 (01-13-2012), Linkmeister (01-14-2012), StarCat (01-18-2012), TakingCharge999 (01-13-2012), Tuffgirl (01-14-2012)
Old 01-14-2012, 11:07 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 4
YES lillamy and anvil - well said!

I struggled with the "no expectations' theory because I believe its expectations that allow us to set boundaries for ourselves. How can we not have them?

But there's a line - and its that our expectations are ours. As lillamy says - our personal expectations become a problem when we expect someone else to change to suit them. Or an even better word for "expect"...demand.
Tuffgirl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Tuffgirl For This Useful Post:
choublak (01-14-2012)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:54 AM.