January 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
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January 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
January 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very unhappy. If you asked her what she was unhappy about, she would say, despairingly, “Oh, just everything!” And then she would go into the most excruciating detail about her sufferings, the awful things her husband did, the trouble she had with her children. A scared, lugubrious expression was etched on her face. Although she had been a pretty girl, she could see no reason for making herself look nice – and anyway, she didn’t have the time. While she was looking on the dark side, communication and love between her and her family grew less and less. Even her friends avoided her, which increased her grievance against life. Everything would have been all right, of course, if only her husband would stop drinking, and she told him so every day.
Once in a while, somebody would get her to an Al-Anon meeting, but somehow, she had the idea that all the members were just waiting to hear her latest disaster reports.
One night, a member, determined to help her if she could, put the cards on the table. She told her that everybody there had plenty of troubles, but with the help of Al-Anon and each other, they learned to stop exaggerating them. “Why don’t you try wearing a smile for a change, and see what happens? Maybe it would even be such a jolt for your husband to see you pleasant and cheerful that he’d run to AA.”
And believe it or not, after a while, that’s just what happened!
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was very unhappy. If you asked her what she was unhappy about, she would say, despairingly, “Oh, just everything!” And then she would go into the most excruciating detail about her sufferings, the awful things her husband did, the trouble she had with her children. A scared, lugubrious expression was etched on her face. Although she had been a pretty girl, she could see no reason for making herself look nice – and anyway, she didn’t have the time. While she was looking on the dark side, communication and love between her and her family grew less and less. Even her friends avoided her, which increased her grievance against life. Everything would have been all right, of course, if only her husband would stop drinking, and she told him so every day.
Once in a while, somebody would get her to an Al-Anon meeting, but somehow, she had the idea that all the members were just waiting to hear her latest disaster reports.
One night, a member, determined to help her if she could, put the cards on the table. She told her that everybody there had plenty of troubles, but with the help of Al-Anon and each other, they learned to stop exaggerating them. “Why don’t you try wearing a smile for a change, and see what happens? Maybe it would even be such a jolt for your husband to see you pleasant and cheerful that he’d run to AA.”
And believe it or not, after a while, that’s just what happened!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Thank you, Meredith for posting these.
I completely get the negativity doesn't help anything message, but this:
doesn't seem to make much sense to me. *sigh* Perhaps it's just my cynical attitude towards XAH ever working towards his recovery, but the first though that popped in my mind after reading the last sentence was "That's a fat load of cr-p."
OK. Am I reading it wrong? Because it feels like a sub-message there is that my being happy and cheerful would be a catalyst to get XAH to start attending AA, and therefore start working towards recovery. Which feels like the rosy-glasses "if I try hard enough, he'll change" scenario.
I have to be reading the Blue Book entry wrong...
I completely get the negativity doesn't help anything message, but this:
“Why don’t you try wearing a smile for a change, and see what happens? Maybe it would even be such a jolt for your husband to see you pleasant and cheerful that he’d run to AA.”
And believe it or not, after a while, that’s just what happened!
And believe it or not, after a while, that’s just what happened!
OK. Am I reading it wrong? Because it feels like a sub-message there is that my being happy and cheerful would be a catalyst to get XAH to start attending AA, and therefore start working towards recovery. Which feels like the rosy-glasses "if I try hard enough, he'll change" scenario.
I have to be reading the Blue Book entry wrong...
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