Exhausted by my mother
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2
Exhausted by my mother
Hello everyone,
I'm new here, and hope I'm in the right place. I'm a guy of 24, and live at home with my mother and elder brother. My mother is an alcoholic, and has been sober for about 7 weeks. My Dad died nearly three years ago, and since then my mum's drinking became really bad, with binges getting closer together, and increasing in quantity.
I have had to ring for ambulances in the middle of the night for her on countless occasions, buy her alcohol at her request, though I hated doing so, but she would tell me she could have fatal withdrawals if I didn't. I am sick with worry all the time that she will relapse.
I can't turn to my brother for help because he has mental health issues, and I feel embarrassed at confiding in my mates. My mother is in AA now, but she doesn't go as often as she should, and I usually have to push her.
She also suffers from clinical depression, which makes her spend a lot of the day in bed.
Although she is sober now, she texts me repeatedly throughout the day to bring her things like food, her handbag, or just to talk. I don't feel I can just go out for a walk without hearing the ping of my mobile phone going off with some new request.
I know she gets very worried if I or my brother are out - she is terrified we are going to die like our father, but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating. I feel horrible writing this, because I really love my mother, she is a great person, kind and supportive, and I know how much she is grieving for my dad.
It's just that I feel I haven't had much chance to feel my own grief, and I feel too young to know how to carry my mother sometimes. But I think she would fall apart completely if I left home.
I'd be very grateful if anyone has any advice they could give me.
Thank you
I'm new here, and hope I'm in the right place. I'm a guy of 24, and live at home with my mother and elder brother. My mother is an alcoholic, and has been sober for about 7 weeks. My Dad died nearly three years ago, and since then my mum's drinking became really bad, with binges getting closer together, and increasing in quantity.
I have had to ring for ambulances in the middle of the night for her on countless occasions, buy her alcohol at her request, though I hated doing so, but she would tell me she could have fatal withdrawals if I didn't. I am sick with worry all the time that she will relapse.
I can't turn to my brother for help because he has mental health issues, and I feel embarrassed at confiding in my mates. My mother is in AA now, but she doesn't go as often as she should, and I usually have to push her.
She also suffers from clinical depression, which makes her spend a lot of the day in bed.
Although she is sober now, she texts me repeatedly throughout the day to bring her things like food, her handbag, or just to talk. I don't feel I can just go out for a walk without hearing the ping of my mobile phone going off with some new request.
I know she gets very worried if I or my brother are out - she is terrified we are going to die like our father, but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating. I feel horrible writing this, because I really love my mother, she is a great person, kind and supportive, and I know how much she is grieving for my dad.
It's just that I feel I haven't had much chance to feel my own grief, and I feel too young to know how to carry my mother sometimes. But I think she would fall apart completely if I left home.
I'd be very grateful if anyone has any advice they could give me.
Thank you
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I am sorry for your family's loss. The loss of a parent is significant.
I hope you will continue to read and post as much as needed. This forum and Alanon meetings may help you deal with your mother's alcoholism. (even if she is no longer drinking)
Alanon is a 12 step based support for friends and family members that have a loved one with alcohol problems. It is based on the same 12 steps of AA but tailored for the friends and family members.
The support I received here and at Alanon helped me to learn to take better care of myself and allow my loved one the dignity of learning to take care of themself.
Sending you encouragement and support as you find your recovery path.
I am sorry for your family's loss. The loss of a parent is significant.
I hope you will continue to read and post as much as needed. This forum and Alanon meetings may help you deal with your mother's alcoholism. (even if she is no longer drinking)
Alanon is a 12 step based support for friends and family members that have a loved one with alcohol problems. It is based on the same 12 steps of AA but tailored for the friends and family members.
The support I received here and at Alanon helped me to learn to take better care of myself and allow my loved one the dignity of learning to take care of themself.
Sending you encouragement and support as you find your recovery path.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Wecome to the SR family, glad you are here. Please check out the ACOA page for more information about the Adult Children of Alcoholics, especially the stickies at the top.
Also there is a separate site just for ACOA's, it was founded by people from Alateen and Alanon, they have a book called the Big Red Book, that goes over many aspects of being an ACOA and the recovery process.
I have found counseling very helpful.
Best of luck to you,
Bill
Also there is a separate site just for ACOA's, it was founded by people from Alateen and Alanon, they have a book called the Big Red Book, that goes over many aspects of being an ACOA and the recovery process.
I have found counseling very helpful.
Best of luck to you,
Bill
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