yehuertas

My husband drinks vodka with juice every day and be finishing a 1/2 gallon in 3-4 days to start an other one. He don't seem to get drunk or need it. When there's no money to buy any, he's fine and only drinks soda but if the money is there he immediately go and buys his bottle. Lately, since he's working only in the eve and is home during the day, he spends most of the night up using the pc and drinking until he goes to sleep after the kids leave for school and I go to my classes. During the weekend he doesn't work so he be with his cup all day except when he has to go out to do errands. I'm worried that this behavior would affect his health and our family some day. I have expressed my concerns but he takes it as if I'm trying to be his mother and tells me that he's been drinking since the age of 16 and that if he was going to become an alcoholic he would have already. Also reminds me of the days he has spend without drinking because there's no money and how he's fine just drinking water, juice and soda those days. He says alcoholics can't do that and the ones that can get blackout drunk when they drink. Please any advice! Am I worrying for nothing?

Eight Ball

Hi yehuertas and welcome,

Every so often we have a new member who comes to SR and asks the question 'Is he an alcoholic?' The fact that his drinking has made you 'google' and find a website about alcoholism and then post, suggests that you have a pretty good idea that he is.

It really doesnt matter about what they drink, how much they drink, how often they abstain, the important part is if his drinking is upsetting you and making you doubt yourself and whether he is prepared to take your feelings into account and make changes to his drinking for the sake of his relationship with you and his marriage.

Most 'normal' drinkers would be horrified with themselves if their drinking had escalated to the point that their wives were clearly upset by it. Most 'alcoholic' drinkers make the wife feel bad for even suggesting they have a problem and will do and say anything to keep on drinking.

Your husband is clearly a problem drinker, because you have a problem with the way he drinks and the way he makes you feel when you discuss it. You have a right to worry and your husband should be acknowledging your concerns and feelings. It really doesnt matter about the label 'alcoholic'.

I am so pleased that you found this site, although I am sorry about what brought you here. Please keep reading others stories and posts and I gaurantee that you will start to relate with plenty of others here. I certainly know where you are coming from and found my own way to this site about 18 months ago now. I can tell you that 18 months of SR, Al-anon and therapy and my life with my alcoholic husband of 23yrs has dramatically improved. I hope that this is the start of better things to come for you too.

Justfor1

1/2 gallon every 4 days is quite a bit of booze. I'm surprised he has no physical symptoms when he does stop.

seekerofsanity

Thank you! I have had some of the same doubts as yehuertas in the past, because my bf would go a week without buying any (either because he was having health issues from it or because we were broke), but the thing that made me believe he was, was the fact that I would BEG him not to buy it, BEG him not to drink it that night, and he would start an argument over it, rather than just say, ok I don't need to drink tonight. He would try to make me feel like a nag. I learned that even when there is not actually any alcohol in his system, he still has the mindset that it's a right for him that needs to be protected, even if it upsets me.