tlm56

I read on here and so many hope and pray that their alcoholics will see the light, reach their bottom or something will happen to make them want to quit.

Some of the A's decide to quit and for others...well, my AH is almost 62 years old and still drinking strong. Our anniversary was a few days ago, he started at 10 am and finished a 30 pack, then went to the neighbors and borrowed some of their beer. Today it is straight whiskey.

He says he does not have any intentions of quitting for good. He sometimes stops for a few days, weeks or months, but once he starts again, the roller coaster begins. He does not go to bars, he drinks alone at home, I have never drank anything stronger than iced tea.

Some think that if their health gets bad, that will scare them into quitting. Well..3 heart attacks, triple bypass heart surgery, lung surgery, COPD, back surgery and only one functioning kidney and he is still at it.

So this is just a heads up that your journey with an A may be a lifetime if you are waiting for them to change. You can only change yourself.

Eight Ball

Are you still with him and happy with your life tlm56?

I reached my rock bottom earlier this year after 23yrs of living with an active alcoholic. I honestly thought that my husbands alcoholism would end up killing me (stress, anxiety) and it just didnt seem worth it to me. I still loved him but had come to believe, through SR, Al-anon and therapy, that I was important, my life was important and I deserved to live a happy and content life. Up until then, I was a wife and mother - I found ME and left! I will never live with active alcoholism again - life is too short for that! I know that I want to enjoy my future, my retirement, having trips away, being active, healthy and happy.

I have a work collegue whos husband has smoked and drank all of his life and has severe problems with his legs due to it. He has been unable to work for a few years and they are both close to retirement. She has worked hard to support them and her retirement will be filled with looking after him, doctors appointments and little else. I feel so sad for her, that due to his 'choices' her future will be what it is. Maybe she is happy with that but its not for me.

sesh

Tlm56, my AF was the same as your AH. He was very sick man for years, but quiting was never possiblity he considered. He even used to say: "I rather live like a man for one day, than hundred years like a xxxxx". I guess in his mind drinking was what makes someone a man. Sad.
He died at the age of 53.

jds I agree with you that drinking gets much worse after every relapse. It did for my RAH too. Now he is sober only 8 months, and that is by far the longest he ever did. Right now he is deducated to his recovery, drinking is not an option for him. I'm proud of him for it, but in the same time I'm aware that as years go by his deducation to his sobriety might reduce. We all tend to forget bad things, and it takes a lot to maintain that level of awarness throughout the years. R in RAH is a constant, never ending struggle and I truly admire people who make it a life long acheivment.

In the same time if my RAH drinks again, I would not stay for one second. My life is too precious to be wasted on more pain in the first row seat of someone's self distraction.

tlm56

Since my last post, he has maybe went one day without drinking. In the past few days, he has drank over two 30 packs of beer and 5 or 6 bottles of whiskey. This morning I asked him if he was depressed or if there was a reason he has been drinking so much. His answer was, just because he likes it. Drinking the hard stuff gets his blood pressure up and blood vessels burst in his eye, so now he has a bloody red eye. He is on high blood pressure meds plus he is on blood thinners because he has a mechanical heart valve.

He is passed out for the night and unless he has some more hidden bottles of whiskey, he is out of alcohol. I have to wonder why do I put up with this.

MsGrace

This is a description of a special place in hell. I can't imagine it...

Seren

Hi tlm, I'm really so sorry to hear about your husband.

At this point, you are the only one who can answer that. But it sounds to me as though you are very near your bottom with him.

You do deserve to be happy, and I know that you can learn to be happy again regardless of whether or not your husband is drinking. Reading and posting here is a great way to start.

BobbyJ

IF I was a newcomer, I wouldnt understand what this post really meant
I have asked the same question numerous times and many times I knew the
answer. I knew his bottom.
I had the answers!! what is his bottom?? (let me tell you)


A year later...I GOT IT...I UNDERSTAND IT...


We all have hoped, pray and wished they would hit their bottoms
and get clean & sober

We all think >this one is it< (their bottom)

I thought my xah bottom was when he got a dui years ago
Then I thought it was when he lost his family

Then I began Alanon
Now I "DONT" think his bottom is: him losing his job

What a relief, I dont have to figure this out anymore!!

I think your post, could have not been written any better

Their bottom is not our bottom....

tlm56

We went back to the Dr's to have his blood levels checked, they have been out of whack because of the drinking. They told him that he needed to back off for a while so they could get his blood levels back to normal. He has quit again for how long...who knows. Last night we went out to dinner with friends and he told them that he had been drinking whiskey and it had really took a hold of him quick, so he was done with whiskey. Should be a nice, quiet New Year!!