never going to end
 

I am just at a loss. I feel like I have a child who is constantly trying to get attention rather than a recovering alcoholic trying to save his marriage. He does my laundry but makes sure I know about it, moves the "elf on the shelf" when it was my things with the kids (too be funny), uses up the hamburger in my fridge, cleans the house but makes a remark about how messy something was. This is my house right now. Full rights. Legal and everything, The only reason he is not watching them at his dad's house is because he smokes. I am still walking on eggshells and he is not drinking or living there!

Today, he made sure the divorce papers gave him two nights with the kids, he texts me can I get them? He has stuff to do for his mom until 4. I said fine then realize the oldest has a club until 4:30 so say he should be able to get them. His answer, you said the youngest shouldn't be at daycare past 3:30 because that is too long of a day.

More to that, on Tuesdays my kids go to school at 7:00. I do think if not necessary they should be picked up at 3:30. I told him that so he didn't leave them there until it closes at 6 when it wasn't necessary.

I know I am rambling and this might not make any sense to anyone else, I just needed to get it out. I feel like I am crazy. Other people would say "he is doing your laundry, deal with it!" Does anyone understand?

:lala

I understand; I think quite a few here will. I'm not sure I have anything more to offer except:

:ghug3

Hang in there!

Oh God, it sounds so familiar! We assume that when an alcoholic stops drinking that everything will be fine. Alcoholism is categorized as a mental illness. When you put down the drink/drug you're still sick. But in recovery an alcoholic can change if they have a program like AA and/or cognitive therapy. It takes a lot of hard work and years, but change is possible.

Your situation sounds dreadful. My answer to -- "never going to end" -- is that it's ONLY going to end when you decide to end it.

I have a new life partner.
He had been a bachelor for a long, long time (read: perfect slob).

After many episodes of: "today I bought the groceries", or "today I did all our laundry", or "today I cleaned out the fridge", etc....
(and I am always appreciative of the things he does to help around the house)
I had to explain to him that I felt like he was asking for recognition - sorta fishing for praise. Yet, I felt that those things he was doing were the things a responsible adult in an even partnership relationship - was expected to do.

We agreed not to award trophies for best effort at mopping :-) and we continue to appreciate the efforts of everyone in maintaining our home together.

Learning to be responsible adults is a new experience for some folks.

THANKS! I am trying so hard! It almost seems harder now that he is not drinking. I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I get nice presents for kids, I am trying to outdo him. (Um, they are under the tree from santa, neither of us are getting credit.) I try to keep a routine and schedule for kids and he always changes something. I am suppose to have 2 evenings a week and I can not even schdule a doctors appointment for fear that he will not ge them. Then, all is suppose to be forgiven because he is in "recovery". I even got guilted into staying home with kids because he wanted to change his AA meeting this week. He goes maybe once a week when he can afford the gas to go to the one he wants. All revolves around him. I say one thing and I am unreasonable and hard to deal with.