Looking forward to 2012
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
Looking forward to 2012
Can't explain how much I am looking forward to this next year! I will be getting a divorce from my AH this coming year and finally getting on with MY life. This year would have been our 30th wedding anniversary but 29 years is too long to be spent being called dumb, blamed for everything and living with an unresponsible, unreliable, self-centered and self destructing person.
I know this next year is going to be hard and I am ready for it. AH has promised to make the divorce as difficult as possible. But I have my faith and a loving family and great new friends to see me through. (finally, his family too) I will never again take my eyes off the goal....to live a more peaceful, serene life...the one God intended for me before the evil of alcohol seeped in and stripped it all away.
It has taken me quite some time and much soul searching to get here. SR, Al anon, codependancy no more, and other writings have shown me how sick and wrong my life is. AH has his days when he is lucid and caring, but I've been fooled too many times. Even if he was to go into treatment tomorrow....I know I would always be waiting for him to fall off the wagon and the verbal abuse to start again. (been there, done that) I get it! Took me long enough...lol..
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, with no cure, so even if he was 10 years sober....it would only be a matter of time after that 1st drink, before we'd be back to where we are right now. I can't and I won't, live the rest of my life with the fear, dread or worry that he will again abuse alcohol. NO! It will be better to go through this next year, 2012, as difficult as it might be, knowing that afterward I will be free of the pain it has caused me, our son and other family members.
I will always love my husband, but not the AH that alcohol made him.
2012 is my year of recovery, my year of healing, Thank God, it's almost here!
I know this next year is going to be hard and I am ready for it. AH has promised to make the divorce as difficult as possible. But I have my faith and a loving family and great new friends to see me through. (finally, his family too) I will never again take my eyes off the goal....to live a more peaceful, serene life...the one God intended for me before the evil of alcohol seeped in and stripped it all away.
It has taken me quite some time and much soul searching to get here. SR, Al anon, codependancy no more, and other writings have shown me how sick and wrong my life is. AH has his days when he is lucid and caring, but I've been fooled too many times. Even if he was to go into treatment tomorrow....I know I would always be waiting for him to fall off the wagon and the verbal abuse to start again. (been there, done that) I get it! Took me long enough...lol..
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, with no cure, so even if he was 10 years sober....it would only be a matter of time after that 1st drink, before we'd be back to where we are right now. I can't and I won't, live the rest of my life with the fear, dread or worry that he will again abuse alcohol. NO! It will be better to go through this next year, 2012, as difficult as it might be, knowing that afterward I will be free of the pain it has caused me, our son and other family members.
I will always love my husband, but not the AH that alcohol made him.
2012 is my year of recovery, my year of healing, Thank God, it's almost here!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 35
Sending massive support your way! I too am starting 2012 with major changes. It;s scary but I'm excited at the same time. I've been in your boat for a long time too. I can't wait to have no one giving me attitude, the silent treatment, slamming stuff all the time, blaming me for everything....and so on.
Big hugs for you! Onward and upward!
Big hugs for you! Onward and upward!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
