Personality Disorders, Chicken or Egg?

Old 12-20-2011, 02:50 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I would be more likely to believe mental illness is a causal factor than personality disorders. Except I'm pretty sure the research has shown that the relationship between the two is that people with mental illnesses are simply more vulnerable to abuse alcohol. But then that puts us right back to the question of whether or not alcoholism is a disease.
Personality disorders are also a subgroup of mental illness. All these things (alcoholism, personality disorders, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia) are under the umbrella of Mental illness. Like acne is part of the category dermatology.
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Old 12-20-2011, 03:05 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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This really ticked me off, so I had to stop and look at why. And, NYC, I know you didn't mean it the way I took, it. *sigh* I think my emotional response is rooted in several issues I'm trying to deal with (i.e. trying to convince myself of the following):

I did not deserve to be treated the way XAH treated me, nor did I deserve to be r-ped simply because he was my H.
Simply because I stayed does not mean I liked, encouraged, wanted or deserved to be treated the way he did / does.
The old adage that it takes two to tango is bull-it when it comes to abuse. I did nothing that deserved abuse. My responses to keep him placated was not "tango-ing," it was protecting my sanity and life from a 'man' who I loved and who I thought loved me.

I'm sorry if I'm sidetracking the thread, but I really want to let any one else reading this who has been in an abusive relationship know that in no way are you responsible for being abused. You're responsible only for the choosing the partner, and I do agree with NYC that I had issues that led me to choose XAH.

However, the abuser, and only the abuser, is responsible for his actions and his actions are made to break you down and get you under his thumb. No matter what the abuser says, nothing you could do or fail to do makes it OK for him to abuse you. If you're able to survive what the abuser dishes out and brave enough to get away, you are incredibly strong. So much stronger than you know.
Oh God, I never meant to make someone upset. Of course the alcoholic is responsible for his/her actions which is part of the recovery process. It's about growing up. And of course you certainly don't deserve to be treated like this.

This is only MY OWN EXPERIENCE. It is from doing the Steps, especially the Fourth Step, where I list my resentments and in another column what my own involvement in the situation is. For example, I had an abusive boyfriend and I went on and on about the terrible things he did to my sponsor. Her response: "well you picked him". Now it really hurt when she said that but it led me to see that I have the choice in staying with him or not. Well eventually I ended it and learned to deal with my own problem of picking men who make me unhappy. Also, the major problem I have in ending it.

Now of course a marriage is much different, much harder. I completely respect your issues and apologize for upsetting you. You certainly do NOT deserve any of the things he has done.

Again, I apologize for upsetting you.
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Old 12-20-2011, 03:22 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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NYC, I know you didn't mean it that way. I think I rolled up your post and the gaslighting article. No worries. :ghug3 It's just what I jumped to and having to sit and think about it more helped me today. So, thank you.
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Old 12-20-2011, 03:26 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DesertEyes View Post
Done stickied under "Classic Reading"

thank you for sticky'ing it Mike. It's one of my all-time "A-Ha" favorites.

In re: the original question

Not all people with personality disorders suffer from the disease of alcoholism
Not all alcoholics suffer from the disease of personality disorder
They can and do go together in many cases

As for the numbers - This I know for sure: no poll is even close to being 100 percent accurate.

I do think that it would be useful for an individual diagnosed with one, to pursue finding out if he or she has the other.
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Old 12-20-2011, 06:34 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Nope. Otherwise I'd be an alcoholic.

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