Help, I didn't know !!!
 

I didn't know that my husband was an alcoholic when we got married a few years ago. He is my sweetheart and I love him dearly. He is the kindest, most wonderful man until lately.

He didn't start drinking until lately, but now he is out of control with it. He gets up early, goes to the store and drinks before I get up. So by the time I am up he is drunk. If I get up with him, he still goes to get alcohol. As far as I know it doesn't matter what kind it is as long as it's alcohol. He is hiding it from me, but I know he is still doing it. It's the behavior and speech, the smells.

When he is drunk his voice sounds different, he becomes silly, asks silly questions, and laughs all the time. I feel so alone when he behaves like this. I have asked him if he would go to AA groups, but he doesn't want to go. I asked him if he would consider intervention and he said no.

He is retired, so he is home all the time. I am disabled. He also has issues with prescribed medications. It seems like whatever he can take to get high he will. I honestly didn't know what I was getting into. It seems like lately he is high more than not.

Today was the exception, I though. I found he discovered one of my medication bottles. No wonder he was perky this morning.

He is going to spend today and tomorrow with his family for there Christmas get together. I choose to stay home due to illness. It's too stressful for me to be around sick kids when my immune system is compromised.

Is there anything I can do to HELP him?

What should I do? I haven't been in this type of position before. I feel really ignorant.

Am I doing something wrong that is driving him to drink, take medications. . .
He says no, it's not my fault. It scares me. Sometimes he is so passed out, his respiration s get very slow. . . I almost called the paramedics once. He said on that day he took some of my medications for nerve pain. He says he hates lies, but he doesn't tell me the truth anymore as to what he takes. So if he did need treatment, I wouldn't have a clue.

I don't know if this is related, but when he takes a sleep aid from walmart made from benedryl, he does not take just 2 what is ordered on the package. He takes a handful. Something when he takes tylenol, or whatever he takes. It's like more is better. I told him it will damage his heart, liver, his body ultimately kill him.

I know he cares about his life but

Today I am finding more secretive hiding places for my medication.

Today I am finding Joy in the peacefulness of just the kitty and I. I will work on my vision board, I will put me first today.

Please respond with advice.

Dear rosepetals,

First of all welcome to the SR family, I am so glad your are here, but so sorry for your situation.

Please repeat after me, It's not my fault, I did not cause it, I cannot fix it!

His drinking is his issue, all you can control is your reaction to it.

Do you attend al-anon, there are on-line meetings if it is hard for you to get out.

Consider getting a small safe for your medicines, the prices have gone way down, they are now very affordable

He either does not think that mixing medications and alcohol is dangerous or he does not care, either way it could have deadly consequences.

He is stealing your medication, that could put both of you in real danger.

I hope you will get some counseling, and consider all your options, if you need to vent or need a shoulder or a hug I will be here.

Best of luck,

Bill

It helps to understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I think you have to ask yourself if this is the way you want to live? Hiding medication from an alcoholic husband? I understand you didn't know he was an alcoholic when you married him but it doesn't sound like the life you want.

Welcome sorry that you are having to deal with this situation, however, he is just doing what addicts do.

I woud suggest that y6our read all the stickies at the top of this forum and the Family & Friends of Substance Abusers, lots of great information at your fingertips.

His disease is a progressive one, without a strong recovery program it will get worse. And, since he is copping your meds, I'd say he is also addicted to pills;

Read around all the Family & Friends forums, it will help.