Alone22

It has been awhile since I posted but wanted to share where I am at in my own recovery. It feels good to be at the point where I really get that the focus all along needed to be on me. This is my life and the only person I really have control over is me. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and not to give unasked for advise. I try really hard to mind my own business and just let life happen without me trying to control its outcome. I still struggle with it sometimes because as a mom I needed to influence my kids to become responsible loving adults, and that sometimes spills over into others in my life too. I had an issue with one of their teachers this year and it was all I could do to contain myself and not go off on this women. The tools of al-anon are making me a better, happier, calmer person so that I don't lose my temper and do or say something I will regret. My DD now has a new teacher and I could not be happier with the change. Best part for me was I was able to keep my sanity (most of the time) while letting things fall into place. I just needed to keep with facts and not get all emotional over it, which is a hard one for me being the mama bear that I am. I am still working on not taking things so personally, not having knee jerk reactions, and understanding that when I start obsessing that it is my illness coming out and it is time to take time to focus on me. I am actually starting to like myself more and starting to like others more too. Most people used to drive me nuts, but now since I don't get so wrapped up in things, I am finding others more pleasant.

My RAH is doing really good. I am so proud of him for continuing to be active in his recovery. The change in him is so profound. I feel very blessed to have him in a healthy place. The past 4 months have been great! While it is scary to think that it all may change if he relapses, I try my hardest to focus on enjoying each day and not get caught up in worrying about those things I can't control. Our house is calm, our marriage is great, and our kids are thriving (especially now that our youngest has a new teacher). I honestly couldn't ask for more.