NYCDoglvr

Yes, you are. Active alcoholics depend on other people taking care of them so they don't have to deal with the consequences of their drinking. I hope he looses his license for a loooong time. There is no reason to drink like that, there is no excuse for driving while drunk. Active alcoholics have the emotional maturity and sense of responsibility of five year old children. Let court find him an attorney.

LexieCat

Add me to the "enabling" list. I've been on both sides of the alcoholism issue--partner/wife and alcoholic. I know many, many sober alcoholics who later expressed gratitude for people in their lives who finally allowed them to really FEEL the consequences of their actions.

Regardless of what you do, or don't do, he may or may not be "done" with drinking. Paying for the lawyer only helps him to maintain the delusion that his situation "isn't so bad." The First Step of AA involves admitting your life has become unmanageable. Paying for the lawyer keeps his life manageable.

Good luck to you and your family--it's very tough for parents to resist the urge to "rescue."

Carol Star

If you get between someone and their bottom they will land on you. He should go to jail. He easily could have killed someone.

Hopeworks

My response won't be popular but it comes after 35 years in the criminal justice system and being personally involved with tens of thousands similar cases.

The criminal justice system isn't about justice, fairness or what is necessarily best for the victims, the accused or even society. It is a very broken system especially in the case of addiction.

As far as the public defender's offices are concerned they are a complete under funded joke and they get their checks from the same people who pay the prosecutors... defendants are like cattle being prodded through a system that is designed to force them into a plea agreement that may or may not be in anyone's best interest.

Justice belongs to those who can pay for it... period.

So what is best in this case? Obviously that individuals that are addicts or alcoholics and are a danger to themselves or others and have no chance of getting reliably sober are locked away for life... because temporary incarceration without recovery does not work.

Inasmuch as over 80% of those incarcerated have a substance abuse issue it doesn't take much math to figure out we cannot lock everyone up who has a problem with alcohol or drugs.

Sadly... there is little to offer in the way of affordable treatment even for those who want to get help.

Every situation is different and I very often work with families to use the bail bond as a intevention opportunity... the accused is facing a criminal charge is often remorseful and desperate to change a potential outcome of incarceration.

The best chance for a POSITIVE outcome is that the accused agree to LONG TERM treatment in an GOOD residential treatment program that result in his becoming drug and alcohol free for life. If it were my son or daughter I would discuss this possibility with them and if they were willing to agree to this plan I would hire an attorney to try to negotiate that plea bargain. If they fail to complete the program and a year probation term after release then they wouold go to jail at that point.

This gives the addict a fighting chance to get sober and stay sober for life.

I have helped families do this with AMAZING results and changed lives ... stories that will bring tears to your eyes.

I hate alcoholism and I have seen thousands of lives and families destroyed by the consequences ... but jailing without treatment is futile if the goal is lifelong recovery.

Justfor1

I don't know what state you are in but it may not really matter if he gets a "real lawyer" or is appointed a public defender. There are frequently mandatory minimum sentences that the judge must impose. A felony DUI hit & run is a serious crime now days. The substance abuse treatment in jails/prisons are not the best and sometimes are not available. I would suggest getting him into a good treatment program before the court date. Punishing alcoholics for DUI's never works. There is no logic in alcoholism & without the right help continued drinking is likely.