o boy, he bought me roses
Skipper
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
This reminds me so much of something that happened last year when I was preparing to start my schooling all over again. I had decided to leave my career and start a brand new career and a brand new life. We, my ABF, my son, and I, had 3 computers. The one I used was the oldest one that I kept very nice and clean and updated regularly. The other two were brand-new.
The one ABF used just didn't work one day for him. He didn't want to take the time or effort to see what was 'wrong' with it. So, he began to use mine. I told him NO, that computer would be used for my school work, so he needed to figure out how to fix his.
He had a huge fit over it.
A few months later, after he was gone, my son's computer had the same issue that ABF's had. I looked it up, and it was a simple fix. Took 15 minutes, really.
I recently told RABF about the simple fix, and he's now having his computer shipped to him from his mom's house so he can use that one.
The point of my story is that it was really hard for me to tell him no, but it was one of the first steps I took to stand up for myself, and I'm really glad I did....because....I was just accepted into my chosen program and my school success has been phenomenal. I never let the situation we were in distract me, and I'm so glad.
The one ABF used just didn't work one day for him. He didn't want to take the time or effort to see what was 'wrong' with it. So, he began to use mine. I told him NO, that computer would be used for my school work, so he needed to figure out how to fix his.
He had a huge fit over it.
A few months later, after he was gone, my son's computer had the same issue that ABF's had. I looked it up, and it was a simple fix. Took 15 minutes, really.
I recently told RABF about the simple fix, and he's now having his computer shipped to him from his mom's house so he can use that one.
The point of my story is that it was really hard for me to tell him no, but it was one of the first steps I took to stand up for myself, and I'm really glad I did....because....I was just accepted into my chosen program and my school success has been phenomenal. I never let the situation we were in distract me, and I'm so glad.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 86
Originally Posted by PurpleSquirrel 
Ahhhh, roses. Grown in s**t and covered in thorns.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Would prefer someone who never gives me any flowers but actually respects me.
I recalled an EX and how he used my own laptop, and when I had to use it he told me to wait for him.. ah the viruses..ah the stupid junk chain ********** files... ah the Trojan horses.. yes, viruses are very common in porn sites and yes the EX was using my laptop to watch porn. He was not even smart enough to clear his history or downloaded files.
At least I did not marry him and bought a house for him as was his plan. What was I thinking?
Hugs chronsweet, sometimes we believe there´s nothing else for us, or nothing better, but its not true. For me even living alone and being single is MUCH BETTER than hanging around with addicts, or jerks, or losers, or the three in the same person.
I recalled an EX and how he used my own laptop, and when I had to use it he told me to wait for him.. ah the viruses..ah the stupid junk chain ********** files... ah the Trojan horses.. yes, viruses are very common in porn sites and yes the EX was using my laptop to watch porn. He was not even smart enough to clear his history or downloaded files.
At least I did not marry him and bought a house for him as was his plan. What was I thinking?
Hugs chronsweet, sometimes we believe there´s nothing else for us, or nothing better, but its not true. For me even living alone and being single is MUCH BETTER than hanging around with addicts, or jerks, or losers, or the three in the same person.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
TakingCharge, thanks for the support, really! I truly know that there is something better for me in life. I have my two year old son, and he is my light. I am at a point in my life where I really don't feel the need to have anyone significant in my life, I don't need to be with someone. I have never had problems meeting people, going on dates, having friends, etc. I am also a very loyal person, and so, being that I live with my ABF and have a small child, it is not appropriate to seek anyone else in my life.
I realize I am a bit codependent. I had a mom and dad who did drugs throughout various times in our lives growing up. My mom helped take on lots of problems in her family and so I just kind of learned to be an adult before my time. I do have very strong moments and I have confidence and the ability to self-evaluate myself, so I will be fine in this situation. It is all a matter of timing. I am not in a situation where I fear for my safety, and not all days are horrible. I am learning to deal and cope with the daily drinking to not stir the pot too much as I plan to escape the situation. I do have bills and I do have to work, so at this point, I am just saving and going as long as I can before I move out.
SR has been a life saver for me really. Somedays I am around a lot, and I so appreciate everyone who takes the time to comment on posts for me as well as others! It is nice to feel like I belong to a group of people who have been through what I have. I was feeling pretty numb and confused for a while, not too mention I was manipulated by ABF and his A momma!
I realize I am a bit codependent. I had a mom and dad who did drugs throughout various times in our lives growing up. My mom helped take on lots of problems in her family and so I just kind of learned to be an adult before my time. I do have very strong moments and I have confidence and the ability to self-evaluate myself, so I will be fine in this situation. It is all a matter of timing. I am not in a situation where I fear for my safety, and not all days are horrible. I am learning to deal and cope with the daily drinking to not stir the pot too much as I plan to escape the situation. I do have bills and I do have to work, so at this point, I am just saving and going as long as I can before I move out.
SR has been a life saver for me really. Somedays I am around a lot, and I so appreciate everyone who takes the time to comment on posts for me as well as others! It is nice to feel like I belong to a group of people who have been through what I have. I was feeling pretty numb and confused for a while, not too mention I was manipulated by ABF and his A momma!
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