LucyA

does anyone have a link to this or can anyone post it for me, I've looked and can't find it, but I remember it moving me so much. i was talking about it with someone else today and promised to send it to her, but now i can't find it. I know it's been posted here more than once.

Pelican

Hi Lucy,

Not sure if I know where it is, but a lot of my favorites are in "Best of Sober Recovery" section:

The Best of SoberRecovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

There is a letter in that section: Let Me Fall

chronsweet

Perhaps this ....

You can't make me clean, though I know it is what you want for me to be. But until I want it. I won't be. You can't love me clean, because until I learn to love myself. I won't be. I know you must wonder how can I learn to love myself when I am caught up in a life style of self-hatred and self destruction. I can learn from my own experiences. I can learn from the things that happen to me along the path of my own mistakes. I can learn by being allowed to suffer the consequences of my choices. Life has a funny way of teaching us the lessons we need learn.

I know it devastates you to watch me hurting myself. I know you want to jump in and save me. This helps ease your pain, but I don't think you understand just how damaging it is to me.

You see, although I look and sound like your loved one. I am not. That person is in a self imposed prison way deep down inside of my being and what you see before you is an addict ruled and reigned by my addiction. I am a addict and my main focus is to feed the addiction. Every effort you put forth in the name of "helping me" falls prey to my addiction giving it more power to shackle me down a little more each time.

I feed my addiction enough. So please don't help me.

The only way for the real me to get free is to be free. FREE to fall as far down as I need to go in order to find the strength to fight and find my way back. To break free.

How can or will I ever be able to get clean you wonder ...

The same way I gave myself over to my addiction is the same way I can give myself over to my recovery. BY MYSELF

By not enabling me you will be allowing me to reach "rock bottom". By trusting the process you move over and allow me to find the my own way back. You see, it is in the fight to get free that I will find myself. It is in the fight that I will learn to love myself and the more I love myself ... the more I will start to do to better myself, but I myself, must do this.

I am aware that when I use I am playing Russian roulette with my life. I know this, but that is a chance I take when I use. The addict in me is willing to take that chance in the name of getting high.

Rock bottom is but a circumstance away. I can't reach it you are blocking the entrance.

I know you love me and you only want whats best for me ... but that very love keeps you blind sighted to just what truly is best for me and causes you to act from/out of fear and emotions.

Please for my sake don't try to stop me... just let me go ... move out of the way and let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me ... as far down as I have to to reach rock bottom. Don't try to cushion the fall. Just believe in me and trust the process. Pray for me that when I do hit ... it is not with the impact that leaves me for dead (I know that is your greatest fear), but if it comes to that, be sure to tell my story so that others might learn from my mistakes and live.

Passion
Recovering addict

Thumper

Maybe this one? This one makes me shudder. There was another I'm thinking of too but I can't find it yet.



ALCOHOL'S DISASTROUS PROMISES

I have some promises I'll make to you, If you will do what I want you to. The more that you consume of me, The more then will your losses be. Here are the promises to you I make, And I promise the promises never to break.

I promise to take your money, your home And all you can get in the way of a loan. I'll take your character, your reputation to. Your good name, I'll take from you

Your friends I'll take from you one day Your family from you I'll turn away I'll take your car, I'll take your wealth I'll take your job, I'll take your health

I'll take your watch, I'll take your chain,
I'll cause you to stay out in the rain. I'll take your credit, I'll take your bail, I'll cause you to sleep in a dirty jail.

I'll cause your name to go down in shame. I'll bring you misery, I'll bring you woe, I'll bring you trouble more than you know. I'll take your clothes and pawn then too, The necessities of life, I'll take from you. I'll take from you days, I'll take from you years, I'll double the flow of your bitter tears. I'll take your heart, give you one of stone, I'll cause you to walk through life alone.

I'll take away your desire to live a right life, Your light of day I'll turn to night .I'll cause you to dishonor your mother and dad, I'll take all the pleasure you could have had. I'll turn your love for your friends to hate, Your desire to repent will come too late.

Your road to despair for you I'll pave, I'll cause you to fill a premature grave. I'll put you in an institution for the insane, Your normal thinking will go down the drain.

I'll cause you to murder your best friend, I'll trouble your mind to the very end. I'll bring you contention, I'll bring you strife, and I'll finish with you by taking your life.

Thumper

This one?

What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
__________________


Have A Great 24
-jon

LucyA

Thank you for posting these, but now I'm not sure if it's a different one I'm thinking of, or maybe I imagined it. I'm convinced it was from a son to his mother, but that might be just how I interpreted it.

NoelleR

You might want to check out the following threads............:

1) "letter from son" posted by December2011 in the 'Friends and Family of Substance Abusers' Forum, started 9/28/11, last posted to on 9/30/11; followed by

2) "update from son" also posted by December2011 in the 'Friends and Family of Substance Abusers' Forum started 9/30/11, last posted to on 10/2/11.

These may not be the ones you remember, but they're worth a second look.....


(o:
NoelleR