stepsforward

Well not only do I have a RAH I also have a best friend for over 30 years that is an A. She was in recovery for awhile back in 2008 and in 2009 I found out she was using again so when I confronted her with it she got very defensive and said some rotten things to me. So I had to go NC for my own recovery. I havent spoke to her in over 2 years and she leaves me a message over the weekend wishing me and my family a happy thanksgiving and so on and so on. I just dont know if I should call her back or not. I am afraid if I call her it wont be good for my recovery. Just dont know what to do.

dollydo

Me, I would just let it be. If you are dealing with a RAH, I would think that you already have enough on your plate to deal with.

Just my two cents, it's your call.

Learn2Live

I would not call back. You're under no obligation to call anyone back. Send a card if you must. I have to be strict about who I let into, and back into, my life.

jessiec

If it causes you any anxiety to call, don't.

I had a very toxic "friend" since childhood that I let go of nearly three years ago (not due to alcohol, but her hostility, envy, etc). I've only felt relief ever since.

Learn2Live

I know it sounds harsh but really, I had to let go of all that old emotionalism. Like calling someone "my best friend." I'm not 13 anymore, I'm over 40, and I wanted to stop hanging on to people that were hindering me. I had to stop being sentimental. For me, it's a much healthier way to be. Another thing I started being sensitive about is how I would always reinforce possessiveness with my words. "My fill-in-the-blank with a person" is not really MINE. It's easier to Let Go of something or someone that wasn't "mine" to begin with. And I find it more honorable to allow a person to be their own person, not assume that I am the center of the universe.

Not sure if anything is helpful here; it's just how I see things and think now.

stepsforward

Thanks! I real didnt want to call back I guess I just needed to know what others in recovery would feel the same way.

kiki5711

Everyone has that "holiday" moment when things "seem or suppose to be" different. It doesn't mean she's changed or wants a new relationship or anything further.

If it was me, I'd just text back happy holidays to you too and that's it.

skippernlilg

I learned that we can forgive but that doesn't mean we have to open the door to everyone who hurt us in the past. They can stay far away and in the place they are. It's really ok!

I just broke up with a friend because 'my' codie kept coming out around her. Not really her fault, I suppose. Just not a good place for me to be.

NYCDoglvr

I'd let it go and pray for the person.

LoneStar2x

If you have to ask the question, I think you already have the answer.