Fowlplay

Excuses Alcoholics Make

My Mom sent me this link. It really all rang true for me, thought I'd share. Wondering if I should send AH the link, too, or if it would make things worse? There's really no way to make them see what they're doing to us, is there? This is so fresh because he just called last night and said he wasn't coming home. He hasn't even called the kids. I'm at the angry point now and want to stay that way for awhile so I'll keep from calling him and asking him to come home.

Seren

Thank you for reminding us of that reading, fowlplay. It is one of the classics in the "stickies" at the top of this forum.

In sending this to your husband, I would ask: What do you hope to see happen? If you can send it to him free from any expectations, then by all means go ahead. My fear for you is that you are hoping to get him to "see the light"....and speaking from personal experience, that just does not work.

I suppose he is showing his true colors in not calling the kids. Still, I know that must really hurt them, I'm so sorry.

I've found that anger is useful because that energy can be used to make the changes that need to be made in our lives. I hope that things will get better for you soon!

Fowlplay

I'm not sure what I'd like to happen. Ideally, I'd like to have him start meetings and magically fix himself. We all know that's not going to happen. He's such a logical man when he's not drinking or wanting to drink, I thought for a second that he may see that the articl was written basicaly about him. I know I'm wrong and thank you for saving face for me before I did send it.

Seren

Anytime you find yourself wanting to contact him, you are welcome to come here and vent away!!! We're open 24/7......

dollydo

Good Grief...stop trying to fix him...work on fixing you.

jOSE2

Hi Fowlplay,

I dont know if that site is allowed,(I'm not sure of rules on SR site,as I'm new comer here) but what great insight.

I havent read all as yet,but will print it all off,
Amazing!!
Thank you for that share

Best wishes and hope things your end will be okay.
jOSE

BobbyJ

You can send him the note
You can spend $10 GRAND on rehab, like I did

Final result's will be the same: He will continue to drink until HE is ready to stop

Your going to hear it over and over from us that have been thru it before....
FIND A ALANON CLASS, get educated.....
It works!...

"You need to work on you" is a hard phrase to understand in the beginning
But once you work on you in a Alanon class and on this site, it will all begin
to make sense to you...Your light will come on!!!

How much longer are you going to let him control your thinking, feelings, emotions???
*think about that question*

Fowlplay

I know, I was mainly being tongue in cheek. I did ask my 18 year old to come on Mondays to watch the little kids so I could go to Alanon. So I'll start Monday. I'm planning on checking out an online meeting or two between now and then. I'm staying pissed off at him and refuse to let him come home right now. He hasn't even called me or the kids since last night. I feel so bad for my poor kids, but we've kept busy-a movie yesterday, park today, park tomorrow, etc. I will keep breathing.