Serenity8

I have come such a long way. I consider myself a peaceful, happy person. But this weekend I had my own kind of relapse. I said horrible things to many people. And I am still having circular conversations in my head about some things. This is NOT the person I want to be, it's not healthy. I have worked long and hard to become peaceful. I just got back to the gym, I've been praying... I need a meeting badly but I don't see that happening this week, just too busy. Writing here just to document it. I am breathing deep and praying. I just hate this feeling of wanting to CONTROL everything and not giving it up to my higher power. HATE IT. Worked long and hard to NOT be like that so why am I here now??

Thanks for listening...

akrasia

I'm in kind of a dark place now too. Working up a righteous head of steam is one thing, but when you feel sort of overwhelmed by the anger it really sucks. It's like being swept up in something.

It's just a feeling. It's just a feeling. Ooooo(goddamnit)ooohm.

LifeRecovery

Sometimes to get through something you have to feel it.

I get into big trouble when I stuff things....because then it comes out sideways. I am not saying be a bitter angry person for ever and ever but for me being angry on occasion has let me let go of a lot of things.

I find myself snapping at people I am not upset with when I stuff things. If I actually allow myself to feel it I do better.

cslaurie

I know exactly what you mean-i am working so hard to "be the person i want to be" too, & had sort of a bad day today. Then i came here & started reading & seeing that i am not alone-it gives me comfort. We are going to have "those" days, best thing is tomorrow, wake up & tell yourself you're going to make the day a better one ((hugs))

Serenity8

I have been praying for God's Grace all day and it seems to have come to me. Whew, what a relapse. Tomorrow will definitely be a better day!!