Reposted here ..Please Help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4
Reposted here ..Please Help
To start I'd like to thank anyone that can guide my in the right direction.Im asking for help for my son or for me to help my son.Let me start by telling you about him.My son just turned 19 his mother and I split up when he was about 13 and I wasnt there in his life like I should have been,always putting my job first.My son was always very smart and got good grades but after the break up things went down hill,grades went down he started smoking pot wouldnt listen...He turn 16 and everything got real bad I tried to get involved in his life but was rejected and he started smoking pot,pills...He was busted and ended up going to placement at 17 for 3 months,as soon as he got out he was on house arrest and snuck out and was thrown in in ycp.I decided to help and with a lawyer I was able to get him to live with me.Now he's 19 and dealing with the same things but getting worse every day.He smokes,pot,pills and I even found needles in his room.I just opened my own computer business and as of yet I cant afford Ins to go for help.Does anyone have any ideas what I can do.He is at the point where he steals from me,his mother,friends..I had to put locks on my doors.I love my son but I cant handle this anymore and bout to go nuts.I very sorry for the long story
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Hi and wellcome.
Sorry for the problems that got you here but glad you found us.
Don't appologize for the long story, as it was very short, but even if it wasn't that would be OK too.
I'm afraid there is no any specific advice I can offer on what you can do. The best I can do is say: stick around here, on both forums F&F of alcoholics, and F&F of substance abusers and read about addicton as much as you can. There is no easy or fast fix to your problems, I'm afraid, but I promise the more you learn about addiction the more options you'll see on what you can do, and in time make the desicion on the course of action that resonates with you the most.
Adicts seek recovery only if and when they're ready themselves, and there is not much we, as a family, can do for them. Your son has to decide himself he wants to change his life, I guess there are things you can do to maybe help that process, the most important one would be to let him face the consenquences of his actions.
I personally have never dealt with a such a young person who is addicted, so there might be some good advices that can come from people who have. I'm sure you'll be hearing from them shortly on these boards.
Aslo, since I don't live in US I have no idea about what kind of rehab programs you have over there, but to make something like that make a difference he'd have to want it himself first. You can't fix him, you (or anyone else) can't make him do something he doesn't want to do.
The best advice I can offer is: learn about the addiction as much as you can. That is the best you can do for right now.
Take care
Sorry for the problems that got you here but glad you found us.
Don't appologize for the long story, as it was very short, but even if it wasn't that would be OK too.
I'm afraid there is no any specific advice I can offer on what you can do. The best I can do is say: stick around here, on both forums F&F of alcoholics, and F&F of substance abusers and read about addicton as much as you can. There is no easy or fast fix to your problems, I'm afraid, but I promise the more you learn about addiction the more options you'll see on what you can do, and in time make the desicion on the course of action that resonates with you the most.
Adicts seek recovery only if and when they're ready themselves, and there is not much we, as a family, can do for them. Your son has to decide himself he wants to change his life, I guess there are things you can do to maybe help that process, the most important one would be to let him face the consenquences of his actions.
I personally have never dealt with a such a young person who is addicted, so there might be some good advices that can come from people who have. I'm sure you'll be hearing from them shortly on these boards.
Aslo, since I don't live in US I have no idea about what kind of rehab programs you have over there, but to make something like that make a difference he'd have to want it himself first. You can't fix him, you (or anyone else) can't make him do something he doesn't want to do.
The best advice I can offer is: learn about the addiction as much as you can. That is the best you can do for right now.
Take care
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but thankful that you found us. You have found a wonderful resource of information and support!
I am going to share two links with you. They are from older, permanent posts (stickies). These stickies are located at the top of our forum pages. They contain some of our stories and loads of wisdom.
This first link applies to living with active addiction in your home. It helped me:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
This next link contains excerpts from the book "Under the Influence" it mainly describes the chemical changes on an addict due to alcohol, but it does apply to other substances too. It helped me understand how deep the addiction is for an addict. It affects every cell of the body. It affects the mind and soul of the addict.
Under the Influence: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but thankful that you found us. You have found a wonderful resource of information and support!
I am going to share two links with you. They are from older, permanent posts (stickies). These stickies are located at the top of our forum pages. They contain some of our stories and loads of wisdom.
This first link applies to living with active addiction in your home. It helped me:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
This next link contains excerpts from the book "Under the Influence" it mainly describes the chemical changes on an addict due to alcohol, but it does apply to other substances too. It helped me understand how deep the addiction is for an addict. It affects every cell of the body. It affects the mind and soul of the addict.
Under the Influence: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
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