new here, not sure about alcohol use in family
 

I think my mother may be heading toward alcoholism and am unsure if I'm overreacting or if the problem is there and needs to be dealt with. She drinks every day and has for many years now. She usually drinks at least 3 beers a night and quite often, on weekends, much more, but can skip nights sometimes. She isn't physically violent but if she has a few too many drinks she can be either confrontational or become overly sensitive and get very upset at the slightest offense. She has become a bit of an annoyance on facebook with what I'm assuming are drunk posts. She has gone "cold turkey" more times than I can count only to find out shortly thereafter that she is back to drinking in the evenings again. She came to stay with me a few years ago when I was due to have my son. She left, very angry, the day he was born and didn't speak to me for almost a year after that because we asked that she not eat or drink in the living room (new carpet), which meant that she couldn't "relax and have a few beers". I've brought up these issues with her before and she gets angry and shuts down. She thinks I overreact because my husband and I don't drink. I have recently started reading about the effects of long term heavy drinking on women and it's scary. I don't want that for her. Does she have a problem? Do I have a problem? I want to resolve this with her, but she's difficult to talk to.

If you believe your mother has a problem with alcohol, then she probably does. From your comments, it certainly sounds like she's an alcoholic. It doesn't matter if you don't want this for her, because until she doesn't want it for her, she will not quit. Get to an al-anon meeting in your area and there you'll learn that you can't control her drinking, didn't cause it, and can't cure it. Also, don't expect her to admit that she's an alcoholic because denial is very strong in all substance abusers. This is a great site to read and learn, and post. Welcome:welcome

Thank you for responding. I think I may try alanon. I was afraid to go and feel like maybe I'm overreacting. I don't think my mom really gets it at this point. She doesn't want to hear it and doesn't see the consequences for what they are. I guess I should just work on me and how I respond to her.

Yes, you are not overreacting. Your Mom may never get it. My AH has been drinking since he was a teen and he's 61 and still doesn't get it. Working on you and your expectations of her and how to set boundaries with her is what al-anon and a good sponsor will teach you. You are a wonderful daughter to be so concerned about your mother's well being. She's a lucky woman, but may never realize it.