can anyone relate?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: pacific standard time
Posts: 289
can anyone relate?
I'm an addict/ alcoholic in recovery and dedicated to recovery 24 hours at a time. I have 81 days of sobriety and am about to start my step 4. It's too soon for alanon meetings, according to my (12-step friendly) therapist as well as my sponsor - and i know they are right. I'll get there soon.
I'm freshly broken up from a 2.5 yr relationship with a pot head / klonipin addicted/ addict-inclined bipolar (untreated/wont take his meds) man who i love very much.
I miss him a lot. I'm not torn up - because i am in recovery. but i am so so so sad and wondering if i'm alone in dealing with this kind of breakup.
He basically just....disappeared. I found out from his best friend that he's telling others we are broken up - but he never actually told me.
I have many belongings at his house and dread the part where i have to get them back. I feel sure he hasn't set any of my things aside (he's actually kind of messy, so i don't know if he's actually capable of figuring out which stuff is mine and setting it aside)
he's a lawyer, and when i wrote him to tell him i heard from someone else that we were broken up, he wrote me an ice cold legal-like letter. it sucked - but i'm best on my own now anyway.
Still, i miss him so much.
I want to be friends with him. I wonder if he misses me, too. I'm sad and scared. I feel sure he's already with another woman, and i'm trying not to think about it. Nothing convinces me of it, i just feel like it's gotta be the case.
My recovery comes first. but i can't get the idea out of my head that i hope he gets help, and that we love each other.
i'm sad about the way it ended - and no matter how healthy i feel - i still do miss him. not his constant pot smoking, not his addict behaviors, but him as a person.
When we take a moment of silence for those still suffering in and out of the rooms in AA meetings, i always think of him.
I hope and pray he finds his way.
I'm freshly broken up from a 2.5 yr relationship with a pot head / klonipin addicted/ addict-inclined bipolar (untreated/wont take his meds) man who i love very much.
I miss him a lot. I'm not torn up - because i am in recovery. but i am so so so sad and wondering if i'm alone in dealing with this kind of breakup.
He basically just....disappeared. I found out from his best friend that he's telling others we are broken up - but he never actually told me.
I have many belongings at his house and dread the part where i have to get them back. I feel sure he hasn't set any of my things aside (he's actually kind of messy, so i don't know if he's actually capable of figuring out which stuff is mine and setting it aside)
he's a lawyer, and when i wrote him to tell him i heard from someone else that we were broken up, he wrote me an ice cold legal-like letter. it sucked - but i'm best on my own now anyway.
Still, i miss him so much.
I want to be friends with him. I wonder if he misses me, too. I'm sad and scared. I feel sure he's already with another woman, and i'm trying not to think about it. Nothing convinces me of it, i just feel like it's gotta be the case.
My recovery comes first. but i can't get the idea out of my head that i hope he gets help, and that we love each other.
i'm sad about the way it ended - and no matter how healthy i feel - i still do miss him. not his constant pot smoking, not his addict behaviors, but him as a person.
When we take a moment of silence for those still suffering in and out of the rooms in AA meetings, i always think of him.
I hope and pray he finds his way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 141
I think everyone can relate to having their heart broken. I've been there and I know how badly it hurts and how confusing it can be.
I think you are on the right track, though. Keep going to meetings and looking after yourself. And you have to remember that sometimes things happen for reasons that we can't really understand at the time. When we're in pain, sometimes all we can feel is the pain. We can't make sense of it. But with time comes a different perspective.
What I do when I'm hurting is I try to take care of myself as much as possible. There are behaviors that help me heal and behaviors that are destructive. I try to keep active with the good stuff as much as possible. I keep a journal, I paint, I go hiking, meditate, pray, cook, go to church. All these things are good therapy for me. The more I focus on my healing, the more I find I have some peace.
Panther
I think you are on the right track, though. Keep going to meetings and looking after yourself. And you have to remember that sometimes things happen for reasons that we can't really understand at the time. When we're in pain, sometimes all we can feel is the pain. We can't make sense of it. But with time comes a different perspective.
What I do when I'm hurting is I try to take care of myself as much as possible. There are behaviors that help me heal and behaviors that are destructive. I try to keep active with the good stuff as much as possible. I keep a journal, I paint, I go hiking, meditate, pray, cook, go to church. All these things are good therapy for me. The more I focus on my healing, the more I find I have some peace.
Panther
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Gulf Coast of Florida
Posts: 28
Heart break and heart ache suck bad. I am sorry you're dealing with this. I've been on here all day to avoid contacting my AH who has recently relapsed again. Stay strong, you are on the right path. (((hugs)))
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