Need advice on dealing with end stage alcoholic
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 212
I'm sorry to hear about your son and the difficulties you are having. I'm wondering what criteria deems them 'end stage'. I imagined liver disease, but I didn't realize that there could be other things that are diagnosed, making it impossible for them to get better. I surely hope - for your sake - something can still be done, somehow, somewhere.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Hi, so sorry you're going through all this.
I live in the different country from yours, so I can't offer any practical advice in terms of where to look for help, but i believe other posters have given you a lot of good advice on the subject, and I believe they're worth exploring.
I find the statments made by the doctors you dealt with very unacceptable and uneducated. As it would be exteremely dangerous for your son to cut alcohol all of a sudden, it doesn't mean it can't be done in control enviroment. IMO the place your son is at right now he is unable to think clearly or make any sound decision, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be able to do so if he detoxes completely. What I'm trying to say there is always hope as long as person is alive.
I'll share my husband's story with you hoping it would be comforting. He was drinking a lot for years, a year and a half ago at the age of 39, he ended up in hospital with end stage liver cirrhosis and docs thought he wouldn't live till the next morning. He was detoxing for days, had DT in the process, and managed to survive against all the odds. He stayed sober for 4 months and than started drinking again. We all thought he is a dead man. he continued drinking for another 6 months, during which he lost everything (including his family: kids and I, his friends). He literally had nothing and no one. He became one of those people you see stumbling around streets any given time of the day. Something shifted inside of him and he checked himself into rehab. He is sober now for 7 months and he's doing great. Very deducated to his recovery, very grateful that he is alive, very eager to make up for all the things he missed out on while busy killing himself with alcohol.
His liver is recovering slowly too, and his doc is very pleased. Every time he goes to see him his doc says he can't believe he is still alive. But he is, and more importantly he is grateful for it.
My point: we can never know when and how it will end for someone. But we can hope for the best.
HUGS
I live in the different country from yours, so I can't offer any practical advice in terms of where to look for help, but i believe other posters have given you a lot of good advice on the subject, and I believe they're worth exploring.
I find the statments made by the doctors you dealt with very unacceptable and uneducated. As it would be exteremely dangerous for your son to cut alcohol all of a sudden, it doesn't mean it can't be done in control enviroment. IMO the place your son is at right now he is unable to think clearly or make any sound decision, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be able to do so if he detoxes completely. What I'm trying to say there is always hope as long as person is alive.
I'll share my husband's story with you hoping it would be comforting. He was drinking a lot for years, a year and a half ago at the age of 39, he ended up in hospital with end stage liver cirrhosis and docs thought he wouldn't live till the next morning. He was detoxing for days, had DT in the process, and managed to survive against all the odds. He stayed sober for 4 months and than started drinking again. We all thought he is a dead man. he continued drinking for another 6 months, during which he lost everything (including his family: kids and I, his friends). He literally had nothing and no one. He became one of those people you see stumbling around streets any given time of the day. Something shifted inside of him and he checked himself into rehab. He is sober now for 7 months and he's doing great. Very deducated to his recovery, very grateful that he is alive, very eager to make up for all the things he missed out on while busy killing himself with alcohol.
His liver is recovering slowly too, and his doc is very pleased. Every time he goes to see him his doc says he can't believe he is still alive. But he is, and more importantly he is grateful for it.
My point: we can never know when and how it will end for someone. But we can hope for the best.
HUGS
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: OBX, NC
Posts: 2
Thank you for referring people to my blog. I wish I could take all our pain away and turn an insane situation into sanity. I agree with post #6 from the moderator of this forum. Salvation Army and Catholic Charities are a great resource.
The problem is if the alcoholic has tried to detox or been to rehab more than a few times, they are at a higher risk of relapse. As you know, space is limited and most centers would rather put their bets on someone new to the program with higher chance for complete recovery.
TO LC1950 -- My son's death happened very quickly as a result of alcohol abuse and an underlying undiagnosed liver condition. He never had the opportunity to go to detox until it was too late. As a mother, I say... do everything... do anything... don't give up. But, as the wife of an end-stage alcoholic, I say... know when enough is enough. It's so hard to separate the two.
Please keep reading my blog and feel free to e-mail me at the address given there. I'm sending you positive thoughts.
Linda Jane Riley (The Immortal Alcoholic's Wife)
The problem is if the alcoholic has tried to detox or been to rehab more than a few times, they are at a higher risk of relapse. As you know, space is limited and most centers would rather put their bets on someone new to the program with higher chance for complete recovery.
TO LC1950 -- My son's death happened very quickly as a result of alcohol abuse and an underlying undiagnosed liver condition. He never had the opportunity to go to detox until it was too late. As a mother, I say... do everything... do anything... don't give up. But, as the wife of an end-stage alcoholic, I say... know when enough is enough. It's so hard to separate the two.
Please keep reading my blog and feel free to e-mail me at the address given there. I'm sending you positive thoughts.
Linda Jane Riley (The Immortal Alcoholic's Wife)
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