He's Gone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 45
He's Gone
I haven't written in a while, and the last time I wrote I asked everyone what it was going to be like when my husband who suffered from cirrhosis and still drank passed away. Well, now I know. He died on Friday, November 4th at 5:00 am. His kidneys failed. It was the saddest moment of my life. I was in the hospital room with him as well as his 21 year old son and our 12 year old daughter. I watched him struggle to breathe and they gave him enough morphine to keep him calm and comfortable and he just quit breathing. I told him how much I loved him and watched him just simply stop struggling and die. My daughter is so devestated. He wasn't awake and I just hope he knew we were there and how much we loved him. Although he drank and could be quite an ass he was still the funniest and could be the kindest man I ever knew. I will miss him and love him forever. My daughter adored him. She has written a letter to him and my heart is not only breaking for myself but for her as well. I almost feel that if she wasn't here I would rather be dead too so I could be with him. Is there anyone out there that feels this sad? Is this going to get any better? Anyway, he's gone. The vodka won this one.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I am sorry. I feel your pain.
When my dad died the hospice nurse told me to keep talking to him, even though he could not respond, as, she said the last sense to go was hearing. I don't know if this is true or not, however, I talked and talked and talked.
Sending hugs your way.
When my dad died the hospice nurse told me to keep talking to him, even though he could not respond, as, she said the last sense to go was hearing. I don't know if this is true or not, however, I talked and talked and talked.
Sending hugs your way.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I am so sorry for your loss. When my stepsister died, she was brain dead. I was a nurse, knew what that meant, but I truly believe that they can hear us and know we were there.
I've never lost a spouse, but have lost several family members I was very close to, including my mom who was my best friend.
Does the pain get better? Yes, but it takes a while. It's like those gut-wrenching feelings that seem to take your breath away get further and further apart.
I'd always said "if my mom dies, let me go too because I can't live without her". I went through all the stages of grief, found out my dad and I would be at different stages, different times and that was hard.
However, I did keep going and she's been gone 20 years. I am 50..the same age she was when she died.
Please know that we are here for you, and that even though not everyone will post here? Many, many will read and there are a lot of prayers and comforting thoughts coming to you and your family.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I've never lost a spouse, but have lost several family members I was very close to, including my mom who was my best friend.
Does the pain get better? Yes, but it takes a while. It's like those gut-wrenching feelings that seem to take your breath away get further and further apart.
I'd always said "if my mom dies, let me go too because I can't live without her". I went through all the stages of grief, found out my dad and I would be at different stages, different times and that was hard.
However, I did keep going and she's been gone 20 years. I am 50..the same age she was when she died.
Please know that we are here for you, and that even though not everyone will post here? Many, many will read and there are a lot of prayers and comforting thoughts coming to you and your family.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
So sorry for your loss. It is a terrible disease. I know there are no words that can comfort you, no way to make it easier on you or your daughter. I know what it feels like to sit by someone who is dieing due to an addiction.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
HUGS
My heart goes out to you and your family.
HUGS
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 235
I am so sorry for your loss. I did not lose my AH but did lose my infant son at 3 months due to a birth defect in his lung that we did not know about. I do believe this is when I really lost my AH in many ways. Do not think you would be better with him. That daughter needs you. It never goes away. It does not stop hurting, but you will learn to deal with this and you will keep being an amazing person. HUGS to you. Many prayers in the days to come. talk and tell your story!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
wpasierb
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you are able to help his son and your daughter during this difficult time. Are there grief counselors available for you or the kids?
Hugs, love and prayers for all who loved him
Cats
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you are able to help his son and your daughter during this difficult time. Are there grief counselors available for you or the kids?
Hugs, love and prayers for all who loved him
Cats
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