husband2addict

I'm not sure what to do anymore. My wife is currently prescribed xanax and trazodone. She also takes an OTC sleep aid. She is a 'recovering' alcoholic. She's went from 3-6 drinks a night to 1 drink a night maybe twice a week. The issue is that when we get an evening without children she binge drinks. 10-14 drinks. Pass out drunk. I'm worried that with the mixture of her medicine and of her drinking is going to lead to her not waking up one morning. She thinks I'm crazy and it is an irrational fear. I don't have anybody to talk to about it. I've cried over it. I don't want to raise our daughter alone. What do I do?

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please pull out the keyboard and make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.

I am sorry that you are hurting. I know how frustrating it is to watch a loved one lose control with alcohol.

One of the first things I learned after coming to this site was the 3 C's of addiction:

I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I will not Cure it

The addiction belongs to the addict. I had a hard time accepting that. I was sure my love, anger, tears, pleas could control and eventually fix my addicted loved one. I ended up losing myself in the process.

I learned healthy steps for myself and my children by attending Alanon meetings and by reading and posting here at SR.

This is an older post and part of our stickies (permanent posts) at the top of the forum, it contains steps that helped me:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

lillamy

Welcome.

Pelican told you all the right things. I'm going to add a sort of hard thing.

A recovering alcoholic doesn't drink. Not even one drink. A recovering alcoholic has realized that they have a disease that will kill them but first rob them of everything, including their important relationships and their dignity, and found that the only way out of their addiction includes not drinking.

You will find yourself among friends here. We all have that in common that we've had someone important in our lives who has been or is an alcoholic. Nothing you say will shock or surprise anyone here; we've either lived or heard the horror stories from the trenches that you are living. None of the above is intended to minimize your pain; most of us here know how deeply that pain cuts.

I found a way to live with an alcoholic husband through Al-Anon and this site. I found that I could no longer live with him after about four years of reading a lot and posting a little here. I found my way to that decision by building my own strength and finding a way back to myself, the person I was before I let myself get absorbed by playing a bit part in the life of an alcoholic instead of the starring role in my own life.

I wish you peace, and I wish I could tell you things will be OK. All I can tell you is that YOU can be OK, and so can your daughter, regardless of what your wife decides to do with her life. You have choices, you have a responsibility for taking care of yourself and your daughter. Your wife is an adult who carries the full responsibility for her choices herself.

Big hugs.