brownhorse

I have good days and bad days. I guess this is a bad one. 17 years we have been together. Married 11. I just found out recently he lied to me abou a car accident the first year we were married. He said a car accident was from serving to miss a deer. Found out there was no deer. Just drinking.

10 years of I will stop and start. Then, vicodin. Then, left and filed for divorce. He admitted himself to rehab and I tried again. He didn't start drinking but was so mean, unreasonable, angry, stomach aches. He was either always working, asleep, or complaining.

Then a fight ended with me telling him to leave again. I hate that it ended with a fight. He went crazy. Was saying all this stuff so I filed for divorce and got papers drawn up asap to protect the kids.

Now, not even a month later, he realizes I was right, I am better for the kids, I am the stable one. He is able to work on recovering now and feels like a new person. We are better off apart. I know I could not take him back now. We would both be right back where we started in a month. But, I started a divorce last year and stopped it. I know he won't do this for me. But, I also love him. This stinks.

dollydo

Do what is best for you and your children. I am sorry that you have to deal with this.

skippernlilg

It does stink. We can love from a distance, you know.

Tuffgirl

I couldn't agree more. And that's perfectly okay too.

Hang in there!

GoneMadinAustin

Tough LOVE ( detaching and separating) is TOUGH on ALL people involved. YOU, Him and YOUR KIDS. Patience, Prayer and Persistence. It will get better.

fedup3

I still love my xah also but divorcing him probably saved his life and mine. We were married for 39 yrs. and he was my best friend. Now that he is on his own and has to take care of himself when we talk he's actually sober a first in yrs. Sometimes doing the best thing is not always the easiest road to take I waited for years for something positive to happen and it never did until I pushed myself to make that hard choice that would end up in helping the two of us survive.

butterfly2b

I have also been with my husband for 17 years. We were 17 when we met. Its so hard to think of staying apart from someone that you have spent such a huge part of your life with. One month is not enough IMO. Im about to have to do the same thing. Leave him to save him. Actually he has turned it around and says HE wants to leave me because our marriage has always been awful. Its not true. His distorted mind makes him think these lies. So sorry you are going through this. It really isnt fair. Do whats best for the kids and YOU.