Fandy

YOU don't need to second guess yourself...He was a raging addict BEFORE he sucked you in..he just hid it really well (with the help of his mama too). He showed you his true colors...and if he did this to you, he will do it to the next woman..it's probably a long-standing pattern with his relationships.

i can tell you it will get better and you will be glad to have taken care of your needs when you look back on it. This *friend* who picked him up is no one you need to see or hear from either....Karma will happen for both of them at some point.

right now your REAL friends will respect that this self-centered jerk is not a topic for gossip...and steer you into healthy feel good activities.

please consider a visit to your doc. for a referral to talk to a professional too. 30# of weight loss the wrong way is very stressful to your body. take care.

MissWhyMe

That rings bells to me thanks x

TakingCharge999

The man was an addict before you met him

The man is still an addict, whether in rehab or not (addiction is chronic)

The man will continue to be an addict until his last day on Earth.. always in danger of falling off the wagon. IF he ever recovers, that is.

This has nothing to do with you. I lived a similar story 3 years ago. And the man also got someone else right away.

Your ex is not moving on. Moving on is taking time to reflect and learn. I agree with the above poster he is just in denial and continuing his spiral. I hope he gets better someday but you are the one who matters here.

None of this has to do with your value as a person, as Freedom says, what others do are reflections on them.

I went through this 3 years ago and today my life is so much better without any addicts. My EX is the same jerk and still drinks daily. Fine. As long as I am not around I feel great, I am safe. I feel for anyone around him. He is a master manipulator, a train wreck waiting to happen, he also doesn´t give a damn about drunk driving. In fact he is PROUD of being able to drive so drunk.

I watched "Harry loves Lisa" reruns and Harry took Lisa hiking, he prepared brownies with everyone, then put on a tuxedo to take the daughters to a dad-daughter dance. I imagine you would like a husband, a father like that, who is a true member of the family...?

An addict is busy destroying himself and everything around him. Things may appear fine and even perfect for a while but sooner or later, reality strikes.

IMHO you are the one who is moving on. Keep walking it gets so much better, its true.

Looking4Lotus

I dont know why I am so sad, when everyone keeps telling me Im better off. I just wish the sadness would go away...

StarCat

Being sad is okay. It's normal. You're grieving.

In this case, it's grieving the dreams of the future and the hopes of who he could be, rather than who he is, but it's still grieving nonetheless, and you're allowed to take your time to work through it.
Feel your feelings. They're yours, so they're valid, no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what logic you try to think up to change them. Your feelings are yours, and that means that you have every right to feel them.

It does get better, this too shall pass, it just takes time. So take that time, you deserve it.


I know after I broke up with XABF, I was quite literally an emotional mess. I would laugh and cry at the same time, I'd be totally depressed one minute and ecstatically happy the next. It was like I hadn't allowed myself to feel my emotions, so all the emotions over the course of my past relationship were trying to happen all at once.

Over time, though, things settled down, and right now I am in a much healthier place than I've ever been.

wanttobehealthy

I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said but I want to send you hugs from afar and tell you my heart goes out to you.... You've been through more than I could imagine... your sister's death, betrayed by your friend and partner, ugh... I am so sorry. Keep reading and posting here. This site has been a huge support to me during some of my darkest, hardest times. Nothing is going to take the hurt away, but knowing that so many of us here can understand to varying degrees, the pain you are going through, might be of some comfort.

Hugs.