Just a little update :)
 

My exrabf has been gone a while now. I haven't cried once since he left.

I haven't been this happy or content in years. My house is full of laughter, loud music, fun and friends...my daughters friends are in and out like they own the place...home is lively and lived in again.

My daughter is happier, more confident, more relaxed, come to think of it, so am I.

I'm making new friends and reconnecting with old friends, taking better care of myself and my home. I've lost 6 and a half stone in the last 9 months and I feel much better for it.

A new romance is on the horizon and he's lovely, very respectful...taking it slow though.

Basically...there is not ONE negative thing about splitting with the ex. Really, not one...I can't think of anything at all. It makes me shudder to even think about going back with him.

I keep contact with the ex to a minimum. He's deleted from my FB but we still mail maybe once or twice a month. Not sure why, probably because we ended things on an amicable note and it seemed rude to ignore him as a "friend".

He told me last month that he'd had a drink on a couple of occasions. I blew up at him and then realised that it was NONE of my business and I closed my laptop down. I haven't mentioned it since, I'm not going to ask and I don't want to know.

It got me to thinking...and I've actually come to the conclusion that I never really loved him at all. I think I met him at a time when I was vulnerable and I wanted someone to love me to make me feel good about myself.

I have a lot of regrets. I regret wasting those 8 years, I regret letting myself down and putting myself in such an awful situation. I regret putting my daughter through it too.

Do you think you can stay with someone that long and in the end realise you never even loved them at all?

I think I'm still codependent but I'm aware of it, which makes it easier to deal with, and hopefully not fall into those traps too. I have my Codependent No More on my Kindle now and read it every so often, it keeps me on the straight and narrow, I still read here too, although I don't feel the "need" to as much as I did.

Am also aware that my anxiety, worrying and stressing over things has lessoned considerably. Best thing is though, I am HAPPY all the time!


If you're at the stage where you want to leave but are teetering on the edge because you're scared...just take a deep breath and "let go". You won't regret it.

Tally, yay for you, I am so happy for you, ex is gone, lost a bunch of weight, new romance, all that is left is to win the lotto!

You are an inspiration to those hanging on out of fear.

Best wishes,

Bill

:scoregood

Thank you for this post, it is encouraging to know that happiness is attainable!

Congratulations Tally ! I don't think I loved XABF either , I never accepted him as he is. And I am also content and laugh more often nowadays. My life has never been this way before, where I feel free, independent, able to do whatever I enjoy .... I take care of myself now, go to the dentist, go to the doc if I need to... go to knee rehab everyday... ask for help more often... I

have surprised myself being more flexible dealing with people or things I don't like... actively pursuing ways to enjoy and most if not all, do not include anyone else or depend on anyone else's approval or opinion so I am happy and feel stronger

Granted depression takes ahold of me sometimes but I am finding I no longer linger there so often YAY!!

So glad we are on the same boat!! keep moving forward!!

My house is full of laughter, loud music, fun and friends

This sounds like heaven!

You've come so far on this journey, I'm delighted to hear you are embracing your new life :)

Alice

Congratulations to you! Enjoy the happiness you deserve!

Reading this post is so wonderful and uplifting. I've just gotten out of a four year relationship with a high-functioning alcoholic. It's been four months since the split and I'm beginning to see how beautiful life can . I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm getting there. I'm beginning to see the beauty in freedom and finding happiness in my life. Although, I still have bad days and at times I still think of my ex. I know my life is better now than it has been the past four years but I am also very codependent and love the idea of being with someone. Being by myself is the most healthy thing for me right now and im learning to be content with that for a while. I thank you for your post because it gives me strength to know that one day I will be like you. One day I will be grateful I walked away and hopefully I will find a new love in this new life. Thank you for your post, it gives me the strength I'm so desperately looking for.

Love reading these stories of success:scoregood

Rock on Tally!

Aw thank you, very kind words :)

The freedom to come and go as you please is wonderful isn't it? Just doing what you want, whenever you want to without any critisism or moaning. No resenting anyone, no tension or walking on eggshells. LOVE it!