24Years

I have a 15 year old son who likes to hunt with his dad on our property (deer, duck, etc.). My alcohol abusing husband has been the binge drinking type (started out weekends only but now extends into the week). He typically doesn’t drink before 4 pm or later and has a steller work record, etc., while not drinking on the evenings he is on call (2 to 3 days per week).

I am separated from spouse so it’s impossible to know that he chooses not to drink the evening prior to hunting with his son (though he states he does not drink). My son states his dad never appears intoxicated, but it concerns me knowing that as this disease progresses, the alcohol does the talking.

Am I being foolish to think he can/will control his drinking as he appears to each day he is on call? He works in the health field and I am fairly certain they would call him on it if they ever smelled or suspected he’d been drinking alcohol (as they know he had been in outpatient therapy however short lived it ended up being). Any suggestions on how to best handle this?

Taking5

What is there to handle? His sobriety, his ability to control his drinking (or not) is his issue, not your issue. You didn't make him drink, and you sure as heck can't make him stop.

Your only concern here is your son's safety. Your son is already on record saying there is no evidence of him drinking.

Willybluedog

Unless you know for certain he is drinking while hunting I would not do anything.

It is against federal law to be intoxicated while in possession of a firearm and against the law in most states to hunt while intoxicated.

I read recently that a man was arrested for being in possession of a firearm while intoxicated in his own home, per the story there will be a legal challenge to the arrest.

If you are sure he is hunting while intoxicated you can call either the Sheriff or the Fish and Game Agent (Game Warden) for the county where he hunts, if he is caught he will likely face state and federal charges and probably lose his hunting license for some period of time, you should only make this accusation if you know in fact that it's true.

Jeff63

Guns and alcohol are a very, very bad combination. As his mother, you owe it to your son to have a very serious discussion with your husband about this. I have read where some spouses call the police and tell their suspicions and could they do a breathalyzer. If an accident happens, you'll never forgive yourself. The fact you came here and posted is very telling. You have strong suspicions. And by the way, how does an alcoholic just turn it off? He's probably drinking at work too, just know one knows... yet.

24Years

dgillz...I guess you don't relate to how scary it feels when we are talking about weapons that can kill...this is not about control although sure I'd love to control the situation and not have it exist but that is not an option.

Willybluedog...that is an option I hadn't considered. We have 88 acres that my husband hunts on often. Prior to my moving out my husband had been hunting on our land and coming home drunk at different times (not every time...and he was on medication that wasn't supposed to be mixed with alcohol that played a part as well). I didn't call at that time, though he was in our home by the time I realized it. I just don't like that my son is with him at all because of what I've seen in the past. Your idea does give me a sense of control of my sons safety (though it would be after the fact) but an option that is better than my doing nothing. Thanks.

Willybluedog

If he has a history of mixing drinking and guns I would do everything in my power to get that shut down, the fact that he is on his own property makes it more difficult because of the probable cause issues with law enforcement entering the property.

Your son should never be with him if he is drinking and armed, I would think that family services could get involved as a child endangerment issue.

Is there anyone else your son can hunt with, maybe a friend and their parent or a grandparent, you are right in that you do not want him seeing this as accdeptable behavior.

You know maybe you should just call the game warden and talk to him, relay your concerns, and your husbands history, maybe he will have some advice, most of the fish and game people I have met are wonderful folks who just want everyone to be safe.

Best of luck,

Bill

Taking5

He's on "OUR" property, meaning you and he both own it? I'd talk to an attorney if this is the case. I am not sure where your liability comes into play.

Willybluedog

Dgillz is absolutely right, if it is joint property then you have the right to invite law enforcement in anytime you want and have them check out the situation!

24Years

Great advice...I never thought to speak to a game warden and I will do that. As far as law enforcement, I will work on that too...believe it or not I (am new in my field and) currently work occasional part-time in a jail...I will have to speak with them there to see what advice they may have for me.

24Years

Jeff63...I'd like to add to your comment that it is telling that I am posting here. My spouse appears to not drink approximately 2 or 3 evenings a week. Because that *is* the best I can know, I have been concerned about the what if scenario. Such as, what if my spouse did binge drink the evening before they go hunting since they go out to hunt about 4:30 am (duck hunting, for example) I imagine he may still have some alcohol in him, but I wouldn't have any way of knowing how much. Given that, my spouse promises he doesn't drink those evenings but obviously that doesn't make it so. It is a tough situation for me as I have wanted to do everything reasonably in my power to have some assurance that my son is safe. I will discuss this with a game warden and law enforcement as I mentioned in a previous post.

choublak

Alcoholism is genetic: it runs in your family. I would suggest you educate your son as much as you can about it (if you haven't already). If your husband hides his drinking well, which he appears to do based on the information you've given, he's probably able to pass for sober around your son. I don't think you should allow your son to hunt with his father - but explain to him why. Alcoholics can be drunk but not necessarily look it.

suki44883

Read an article yesterday about a hunter out with his grandson and shot at something moving in the bushes. Turns out it was a hiker and grandpa killed the guy right in front of his grandson. Now, the article didn't mention anything about alcohol, so if a sober person can do that, what are the chances someone either drinking or hung over would shoot before thinking it through? Just food for thought.

24Years

suki44883...that is an excellent point I hadn't thought of (the chance of not thinking it through intoxicated or hung over). There shouldn't be anyone walking on our property but there is public ground not too far from it so despite all the posted signs it remains more of a reality than if there wasn't public hunting ground close by. This has me thinking I need to work harder on finding someone else my son can hunt with (unfortunately, no other relatives in the same state are hunters).

choublak

Are there any local hunting clubs/organizations?

Your son might have to just give up hunting until another option is found.

Willybluedog

In Missouri there is a mentor program for those who want to hunt but do not have an adult to take them, check with you game warden and see if there is something available.

Also Safari Club, North American Hunting Club, National Rifle Association, and 4H may be options.

Check with your sons friends, their fathers, grandfathers or uncles may be willing to take him hunting.