wow04

Okay after spending the night at the hospital with my brother I am wondering if I was wrong. I have over 8 yrs clean and sober. My brother at one point had 7 yrs sober. He has been back out drinking for 5 years. (broke my heart when he went back out)

I have been told by others that he is drinking up a 5th of whiskey on the days he has off of work. He works a schedule that is 3 days on, 2 days off, 2 days on, and 3 days off. I am raising his 12 yr old daughter.

So he has been having severe stomach pain. I took him to the ER last night. They ran blood work and did a CT Scan. I pulled the doctor aside and told him about my brother's drinking history. They decided to keep him overnight so they can run tests this morning.

My brother asked me to stay overnight with him and I did. The doctor asked him about his drinking and he denied everything. I called him out on it, in front of the doctor. Now my brother is mad. He said I had no right to tell the doctor. I told him I only said it because I am worried. My brother said I was there to support him not tell on him.

I haven't been to sleep. I am tired and worried. I didn't want to hurt my brother, but I want him to be okay. Was I wrong to tell the doctor? Should that have been up to my brother?

Aegian

Chances are very good after a 5th a day that the severe stomach pain was easily identifiable with the blood work that was run - elevated liver and pancreatic enzyme levels - meaning the Doc already knew. It is alot easier to start a treatment plan to get the levels (and swelling) back down if the patient is honest with the Doc.

I don't fault you one iota for telling the Doc about the history of alcohol abuse. That way the treatment plan will be more targeted and appropriate for the cause.

That said, just keep in mind that your brother's recovery is his own. You can't make decisions for him (unless he is unconscious and you have a medical directive), those will have to come from him and his desire to get well.

I am sure it is beyond frustrating, having been there yourself and watching him deteriorate back into the habit of the bottle. I hope he can snap to it and seek the help he needs after this experience.

Justfor1

5th of Whiskey a day is a extreme amount. There is no doubt that he is doing damage to his body. You were right in telling the doctor. My experience with ER doctors has not been good and, sometimes, they don't seem to care when I brought my friend to detox. If he has been sober for seven years in the past he knows what to do.

Seren

I have a feeling that if your brother stays in the hospital for much longer, even if he did not tell the doctors about his drinking, the DTs would set in.....no denying the drinking when the DTs start.

I can't tell you whether or not you did the right thing, but I don't blame you for feeling it was necessary. My husband tells me that his late wife died from her treatment of breast cancer because she did not tell the doctors about her drinking (she was sedated through the period of time that would have been her withdrawal). She made him promise not to tell the doctors.....and he did not. Now he regrets it very much.

I don't think there is a clear cut answer, and I hope you won't be hard on yourself because of this!

Hugs, HG

wellnowwhat

I don't think you were wrong to tell the doctor information that could help them effectively help your brother. Why waste time and expense by having them diagnosing with an incomplete picture? Was he in any shape to provide his own medical history? If you were only a ride to the ER, he could have taken a taxi.

wow04

Hydro, I thought the same thing. The doctors are going to know that he has an issue. I am trying not to be hard on myself. I put myself in his spot and when I was drinking I would have been mad if someone told how much I drank.

Wellnowwhat, he could have told his medical history. He just didn't want anyone to know how much he drinks. He is hides it. I have to hear from other people how bad he is getting. Taking a taxi isn't an option due to us living in a small community. I am not sure if I was just a ride or not. I know he asked me to stay with him. I think he is scared.

I think this is so hard on me because he is the one that pushed for me to find recovery. He was my number 1 supporter. He helped through it all at first. Now I feel as though I have lost him. I see him killing himself and there is nothing I can do.

wellnowwhat

My closet drinking AH tried to cold turkey detox. He had seizures and convulsions and was taken by ambulance to hospital because my oldest (adult) daughter was there to call one. Even when he was tethered to the gurney because he was shaking so violently he would have bounced off if not, he tried to deny first that he drank, and then the extent of his drinking problem. He might have died.

I guess because of this experience, I have little patience for alcoholics being too proud to give medical personnel enough information to do their job promptly and efficiently, while others there are waiting for their help, and this bothers me probably more than it should (I guess I know what I'm going to work on today!)

Congratulations on your recovery. I hope your brother begins to work on his again.

Cyranoak

I would have done exactly what you did. Exactly. To have done anything different would have made you complicit in the lie and also endangered his life. It's not up to you to save his life, but this was a no-brainer. It's not on you to lie with him, help him lie, or protect his lies.

Take care,

Cyranoak

jessiec

I think you did the right thing. You are looking out for his well-being and you told the truth.