Meeting c attorney tomorrow. Freaking out tonight
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Deep Breaths!
Calm your breathing by taking a few deep breaths.
This always helps me:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.
I also like this edited version:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (other people)
Courage to change the things I can (me, myself and I)
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Let me ask you a question, please.......
Do you have to decide the entire fate of your relationship by 10 a.m. today?
no?
Then do the next right thing for the moment to take care of you.
Meet with the attorney and ask lots of questions.
Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. That is what I did.
In my case, legal seperation was not my best option. My A was actively drinking at the time of seperation (and driving drunk). I needed to remove myself legally from any financial/legal consequences of his unacceptable behavior. I petitioned the court for divorce.
Calm your breathing by taking a few deep breaths.
This always helps me:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.
I also like this edited version:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (other people)
Courage to change the things I can (me, myself and I)
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Let me ask you a question, please.......
Do you have to decide the entire fate of your relationship by 10 a.m. today?
no?
Then do the next right thing for the moment to take care of you.
Meet with the attorney and ask lots of questions.
Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. That is what I did.
In my case, legal seperation was not my best option. My A was actively drinking at the time of seperation (and driving drunk). I needed to remove myself legally from any financial/legal consequences of his unacceptable behavior. I petitioned the court for divorce.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Oh, gbz, I'm sorry....I know this hurts.
Perhaps think of meeting with the lawyer as having an insurance policy for "if" and "when" things are to a point that you are ready to leave. Perhaps paperwork can be drawn up, but not filed, so that it would be ready to go if you get to that point?
I hope you were able to get some sleep last night.
HG
Perhaps think of meeting with the lawyer as having an insurance policy for "if" and "when" things are to a point that you are ready to leave. Perhaps paperwork can be drawn up, but not filed, so that it would be ready to go if you get to that point?
I hope you were able to get some sleep last night.
HG
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Take some deep breaths, focus on the mission, the reasons you are meeting with an attorney.
It is not the end of the world, your husband is not dead. This is a fact finding mission, treat it as such.
It is not the end of the world, your husband is not dead. This is a fact finding mission, treat it as such.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
So sorry that you are going through this difficult time right now, but seeking legal advice is the best thing that you can do right now to find out how you can best protect your business.
Some things that you might want to inquire about
pro's and con's of legal separation, divorce may actually be better
information as to whether the court may see him as underemployed, and impute wages to him
Bring in proof or information regarding his previous employment, so that this attorney will know his earning potential
If your business would have to be divided 50/50, and that is your source of income, then would that cover the alimony part of it
How long would he be entitled to get alimony, if he is awarded this
How will they evaluate the value of your business? How much it will cost for this evaluation.
Some things that you might want to inquire about
pro's and con's of legal separation, divorce may actually be better
information as to whether the court may see him as underemployed, and impute wages to him
Bring in proof or information regarding his previous employment, so that this attorney will know his earning potential
If your business would have to be divided 50/50, and that is your source of income, then would that cover the alimony part of it
How long would he be entitled to get alimony, if he is awarded this
How will they evaluate the value of your business? How much it will cost for this evaluation.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I can hear a lot of emotion in this post. I want to remind you that you are just meeting with the lawyer. I always suggest people consult with an atty just find out what is possible or not. You do not have to make any decisions at that point. My motto is to borrow the 24 hour rule of AA - postpone any decision for 24 hours if you can.
It is just a step in a direction i am assuming is to protect you and your children. I would have gone indefinitely with a separation myself except when the atty reminded me that he was drinking and driving in a car with my name on it. I went for the divorce fast as I could to protect my assets and to get my name off the car. This is just one thing to consider amongst so many others that brought you to this point. My therapist warned me that a divorce is much the same emotionally as a death. It certainly felt that way to me too.
Hope you can rest tonight and relax. You are just getting information to help you decide what is best for you and your children.
It is just a step in a direction i am assuming is to protect you and your children. I would have gone indefinitely with a separation myself except when the atty reminded me that he was drinking and driving in a car with my name on it. I went for the divorce fast as I could to protect my assets and to get my name off the car. This is just one thing to consider amongst so many others that brought you to this point. My therapist warned me that a divorce is much the same emotionally as a death. It certainly felt that way to me too.
Hope you can rest tonight and relax. You are just getting information to help you decide what is best for you and your children.
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