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counseling haywire aftermath, did I overreact?

Old 10-15-2011, 12:32 PM
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Journey To Me
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You are having a codie episode. You did not have anything to do with his choices. You did not cause it. You cannot control it. You cannot cure it. He is the one responsible for picking up that drink. He is the one responsible for not looking for work. Take a step back and breathe. Get yourself to a calm state of mind, and put the focus back onto you. What comes will come. According to the attorney he may be awarded spousal support if a court hearing was sought, however, the judge may award differently. There is no for sure outcome, and it will make you crazy focusing on all the “what if’s” that are possible.
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Old 10-15-2011, 05:05 PM
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You haven't been married long, he has not worked the entire time. What he wants and
what he gets are two different things.

My 1st ex, of 17 years wanted alimony, he didn't get. The court ruled in my favor. As for the deadbeat you are married to, anything he would get would be short term.

He has been using you for your entire married life, how long do you intend to continue your enabling? The longer you stay with him, the more it will cost you.

You did not set him up for failure, however, you have enabled him to the point that he
has a real sense of entitlement.

Take back your power, stop the insanity, sit down with an attorney and do what you have to do to regain your life, to have a sound financial future and peace.
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Old 10-15-2011, 05:32 PM
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Be careful not to future-trip and get super upset over things that have not happened. That said, I do it all the time! ; ) And when I catch myself, I try my best to occupy my head with other things.

Everyone so far is right on the money (pun intended) with saying you have no idea how the judge will rule. Yes, he may be able to pursue alimony and everything else. But will he get it? Who knows? And how can he afford an attorney anyway, if you are still supporting him? Hhhmmm...last I checked, retainers are in the thousands.

Remember - take it one day at a time. Focus on what you can change today, and let the rest be until it needs your immediate attention.
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Old 10-15-2011, 06:06 PM
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In his shape he probably won't even have an attorney and will just sign on the dotted line. In some states alcoholism is a grounds for divorce. Give him what he came with.
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