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-   -   OT - scared silly (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/238694-ot-scared-silly.html)

wanttobehealthy 10-14-2011 04:46 PM

Suki,
Yes, that would be ideal! The truth is that whichever job I take will still keep me financially tied to AH. Just a little less so (the difference is about $10,000) if I take the first job over the second... Thinking time!

Thanks again!

Tuffgirl 10-14-2011 05:06 PM

I am a long time single Mom of two girls. Their Dad and I split up when they were 7 and 3 1/2. I took some big risks...and I am so glad I did. Every one paid off beautifully, even though at the time I was scared silly myself. But I listened to my gut and ignored the voices of self doubt in my head and just jumped off what at the moment looked like a cliff and turned out to be a bridge to a greater place.

I once quit a job with no back up, and just a month's worth of savings in the bank to cover us, because I just KNEW it was the WRONG path for me and had a gut feeling there was another path out there...and sure enough, there was, and it led me to where I am today. Of course, I didn't sit in my house for a month waiting for the sky to open up and land a job in my lap, I worked it pretty hard, but my instincts paid off.

WTBH, you gotta trust your instincts and value your worth. Safe is fine sometimes, but taking a risk often leads us to greater and more fulfilling life choices.

Just my two cents. Congrats again - its nice to have choices, eh?!

LifeRecovery 10-14-2011 05:33 PM

I just want to say that I think you will make the right decision for you.

Courage is fear that has said it's prayers.

24Years 10-14-2011 07:49 PM

I'm just wondering...have you made a list of pro's and con's for each job? I find doing that brings a lot of clarification.

I've personally taken the best hours as a job in regards to my children (not the best pay) and I have second guessed it but my deciding factor was putting them first (being home when they are home). I do rely on my AH for income right now and I figure if he stops giving, then I can persue other alternatives. In the meantime, I'm doing what I think is best all around (and what I enjoy) despite that it is a gamble (not knowing he will keep helping to provide). Further, the current 2 part-time jobs are becoming more of what I had hoped for (I may be getting full-time benefits from one in the near future...and the other (that is more pay) has offered more hours per week putting me closer to 40 hours between the two jobs). My bonus...I have the summers off when my teens are off and I'm an LPN...I would have never dreamed this would work out the way it has.

painterman 10-15-2011 01:33 AM

Whichever way you go don't have any regrets-sounds like you've had enough to put up with already.

YellowBirdy 10-15-2011 06:27 PM

Money aside, I think you also have to factor in your happiness. I have found that whether or not I like my job and the work I'm doing affects my attitude while I'm work at, which ultimately affects my overall performance (and yearly appraisals, merit increases, etc.). When I have been unhappy at work it has affected other areas of my life. At this point in your life, I think you deserve some happiness. The money will come!

wanttobehealthy 10-16-2011 07:17 AM


Originally Posted by 24Years (Post 3137349)
I'm just wondering...have you made a list of pro's and con's for each job? I find doing that brings a lot of clarification.

I've personally taken the best hours as a job in regards to my children (not the best pay) and I have second guessed it but my deciding factor was putting them first (being home when they are home). I do rely on my AH for income right now and I figure if he stops giving, then I can persue other alternatives. In the meantime, I'm doing what I think is best all around (and what I enjoy) despite that it is a gamble (not knowing he will keep helping to provide). Further, the current 2 part-time jobs are becoming more of what I had hoped for (I may be getting full-time benefits from one in the near future...and the other (that is more pay) has offered more hours per week putting me closer to 40 hours between the two jobs). My bonus...I have the summers off when my teens are off and I'm an LPN...I would have never dreamed this would work out the way it has.


I have made a pro con list and the more stable, better paying job has very few pro's... Predictable hours, days of work and pay are the pro's. Being miserable and disconnected with others and working largely alone all bc of a bit more money are a cons. Both give me flexibility to be home with the girls- but the less stable one gives me a lot more of that flexibility. I think I am all but certain about taking the less stable position and doing all I can to rock it and hope it becomes something more...

I guess I'm going to gamble, rely on AH a bit for financial well being for the girls and hope that being content professionally and being able to spend more time with them than I would otherwise is going to be a wise decision...

Still scared but instead of looking to not be I'm just going to go with "okay, so I'm scared but I can still keep moving fwd". Whole new way of living for me! :)

suki44883 10-16-2011 08:02 AM

The main thing is you weighed your options fairly and came to a decision. I wish nothing but the very best for you and the girls. I hope you LOVE your new job and I hope it turns into a full-time position so you can make the money you need and be happy at the same time. That's pretty much all most of us want. Best of luck to you! :You_Rock_

Tuffgirl 10-16-2011 10:48 AM

WTBH - I am so happy for you! My philosophy about a job is shoot - better like what you do because you are going to spend a whole lotta time doing it!

But most importantly, being able to look back and know you took a risk because you believed in yourself is HUGE!

P.S. I work with grants, and when I hire people with the caveat that this is potential to be permanent but no guarantees - what I really mean is 'you are on probation status until I make a decision to fight my administration for you or not'. Now go shine! And be so super proud of yourself!


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